Turn Coat (The Dresden Files 11)

"Well, lord," he amended. "Several dozen, at any rate."

The Wee Folk are a fractious, fickle bunch, but I've learned a couple of things about them that I'm not sure anyone else knows. First, that they're just about everywhere, and anywhere they aren't, they can usually get. They don't have much of an attention span, but for short, simple tasks, they are hell on wheels.

Second-they have a lust for pizza that is without equal in this world. I've been bribing the Wee Folk with pizza on a regular basis for years, and in return they've given me their (admittedly erratic) loyalty. They call me the Za-Lord, and the little fair folk who take my pizza also serve in the Za-Lord's Guard-which means, mostly, that the Wee Folk hang around my house hoping for extra pizza and protecting it from wee threats.

Toot-toot was their leader, and he and his folks had pulled off some very helpful tasks for me in the past. They had saved my life on more than one occasion. No one in the supernatural community ever expected everything of which they were capable. As a result, Toot and his kin are generally ignored. I tried to take that as a life lesson: never underestimate the little people.

This was a job that was right up Toot-toot's alley. Almost literally.

"Do you know which car is his?" I asked.

Toot threw back his head, Yul Brynner style. "Of course! The blue one with this on the hood." He threw his arms out and up at an angle and stood ramrod straight in a Y shape.

"Blue Mercedes, eh?" I asked. "Okay. Here's what I want you to do..."

Five minutes later, I walked back around the side of the house to the front opposite the street. Then I turned to face the house where the snoop was set up and put on my most ferocious scowl. I pointed directly at the curtained second-floor windows, then turned my hand over and crooked my finger, beckoning. Then I pointed to the ground right in front of me.

One of the curtains might have twitched. I gave it a slow count of five, and then started walking briskly toward the other boardinghouse, crossing the busy street in the process.

A young man in his twenties wearing khaki shorts and a green T-shirt came rushing out of the converted boardinghouse and ran toward a blue Mercedes parked on the street, an expensive camera hanging around his neck.

I kept walking, not changing my pace.

He rushed around to the driver's door, pointing some kind of handheld device at the car. Then he clawed at the door but it stayed closed. He shot another glance at me, and then tried to insert his key into the lock. Then he blinked and stared at his key as he pulled it back trailing streamers of a rubbery pink substance-bubble gum.

"I wouldn't bother," I said as I got closer. "Look at the tires."

The young man glanced from me to his Mercedes and stared some more. All four tires were completely flat.

"Oh," he said. He looked at his gum-covered key and sighed. "Well. Shit."

I stopped across the car from him and smiled faintly. "Don't feel too bad about it, man. I've been doing this longer than you."

He gave me a sour look. Then he held up his key. "Bubble gum?"

"Coulda been superglue. Take it as a professional courtesy." I nodded toward his car. "Let's talk. Turn the air-conditioning on, for crying out loud."

He eyed me for a moment and sighed. "Yeah. Okay."

We both got in the car. He scraped the gum off of his key and put it in the ignition, but when he turned it, nothing happened.

"Oh. Pop the hood," I said.

He eyed me and did. I went around to the front of the car and reconnected the loose battery cable. I said, "Okay," and he started the engine smoothly.

Like I said, give Toot-toot and his kin the right job, and they are formidable as hell.

I got back in the car and said, "You licensed?"

The young man shrugged and turned his AC up to "deep freeze." "Yeah."

I nodded. "How long?"

"Not long."

"Cop?"

"In Joliet," he said.

"But not now."

"Didn't fit."

"Why are you watching my place?"

He shrugged. "I got a mortgage."

I nodded and held out my hand. "Harry Dresden."

He frowned at the name. "You the one used to work for Nick Christian at Ragged Angel?"

"Yeah."

"Nick has a good reputation." He seemed to come to some kind of conclusion and took my hand with a certain amount of resignation. "Vince Graver."

"You got hired to snoop on me?"

He shrugged.

"You tail me last night?"

"You know the score, man," Graver said. "You take someone's money, you keep your mouth shut."

I lifted my eyebrows. A lot of PIs wouldn't have the belly to be nearly so reticent, under the circumstances. It made me take a second look at him. Thin, built like someone who ran or rode a bicycle on his weekends. Clean-cut without being particularly memorable. Medium brown hair, medium height, medium brown eyes. The only exceptional thing about his appearance was that there was nothing exceptional about his appearance.

"You keep your mouth shut," I agreed. "Until people start getting hurt. Then it gets complicated."

Graver frowned. "Hurt?"

"There have been two attempts on my life in the past twenty-four hours," I said. "Do the math."

He focused his eyes down the street, into the distance, and pursed his lips. "Damn."

"Damn?"

He nodded morosely. "There go the rest of my fees and expenses."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "You're bailing on your client? Just like that?"

" 'Accomplice' is an ugly word. So is 'penitentiary.' "

Smart kid. Smarter than I had been when I first got my PI license. "I need to know who backed you."

Graver thought about that one for a minute. Then he said, "No."

"Why not?"

"I make it a personal policy not to turn on clients or piss off people who are into murder."

"You lost the work," I said. "What if I made it up to you?"

"Maybe you didn't read that part of the book. The 'I' in PI stands for 'investigator.' Not 'informer.' "

"Maybe I call the cops. Maybe I tell them you're involved in the attacks."

"Maybe you can't prove a damned thing." Graver shook his head. "You don't get ahead in this business if you can't keep your teeth together."

I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms, studying him for a moment. "You're right," I said. "I can't make you. So I'm asking you. Please."