On Demand

'Christmas Eve?'

'Yeah.'

'But there are hundreds of bookings and the staff Christmas drinks.'

'I know. They'll all be safely in the ballroom though. The pool is closed from nine o'clock in the evening until Boxing Day. Nobody will come down.'

'What if we're needed? What if our absence is noted?'

'Nobody on the list will be needed. Reception will be covered. Nobody can use the gym or pool, so Lincoln and I are fine. Jade and Maria have the week off.'

'So that's five? You, me, Lincoln, Jade and Maria? You realise that Jade is gay, don't you?'

'Yeah, but Maria is bi. So that could work. I'm happy to watch them anyway.'

'Ah well, my triple-cock dream may come true another time.'

'No, I forgot to mention. I invited Lloyd too.'

'Oh, you DIDN'T!'

Lloyd the creepy head barman had spent three years in unsuccessful attempts to remove my knickers. It isn't that I'm fussy – really, I'm not – but there is something about him that makes me think that he would be secretly filming us for some pervy website. I just do not trust him.

'What's wrong with Lloydy? He's a good bloke!'

'Only a man would think that. I don't think he's a good bloke at all. I think he's spent so long trying to fuck me that now he just wants me fired. I think this might be his opportunity.'

'Oh, no way, Sophie, no way. He wouldn't. He'll be as guilty in this as the rest of us anyway. How can he grass us up for something he's done himself?'

'Can't you ask someone else instead?'

'I've asked him now. He's well up for it.'

'No kidding?' I pushed my dish of rice crackers away. 'Well, I don't think I am now.'

'Sophie, Sophie, don't let me down.' Jake ran a hand through his shagpile so that it hung alluringly in his eyes – his default gesture when he wants something. But it's so cute. 'Three cocks, remember – and Lloyd's is championship material. I've seen it in the shower.'

I gurgled into my wine. 'Right. Look. You have to make it clear to him that this is just sex, just once, and will never, ever happen again.'

'He's cool with that. He has a girlfriend anyway.'

'The dirty dog.'

'I reckon he is. I reckon he'll have a few tricks up his sleeve.' Jake raised a saucy eyebrow, setting me off on an optimistic train of thought. Yes, Lloyd would probably be filthy. And that's how I wanted to feel. Full-on down-and-dirty used-in-every-orifice slut. I thought Lloyd could do that. I liked Jake too much, and couldn't take Lincoln seriously enough, but Lloyd was a bit villainous and a bit dangerous.

Yes. Now I came to think it through, Lloyd was practically the perfect man for the job.

I suppose all of us were a bit on edge during those festive cocktails. While the rest of the staff were knocking back the Baileys until the paper crowns slipped over their eyes, six of us were keeping our heads clear.

Jade and Maria, canoodling in a corner, smiled their twin smile at me every time I passed them, while Lincoln seemed unable to switch himself out of pulling mode even with the promise of guaranteed group sex in the very near future. An overexcited Swedish lady almost succeeded in luring him to her room until Jake intervened.

But the person I really had my eye on was Lloyd. And I have to say, the reverse was also true. He was working until twelve, shaking and pouring and crushing ice. I had never really bothered to watch him before, but he was quite graceful in his way. He had strong wrists, though his fingers were still fat. His sleek hair, flopping over his collar, might just counterbalance the shifty little eyes. He didn't have much in the way of angles, but his lips were suggestively plump.

He came on to every female customer. I had never found this irritating before – had always considered it part of his job description, just as part of mine was to flirt with the men and compliment the women. But now an obscure threadworm of resentment burrowed beneath my skin. It's me you should be looking at, me whose pants you should be trying to charm off, me who is letting you win a final victory in your three-year campaign. Look at me.

I tapped the foot of my glass smartly against the counter top.

'Is a bit of service here out of the question?'