Everything overwhelms me. I was so proud, so honored when I was able to take over the shop from my grandmother. I was delighted to be able to share in something that brought her such joy. Now I feel like I’ve failed her. I don't know how I will be able to recover from this. Not just emotionally, though I know I will struggle to deal with this for a long time. This shop was all I had left of her. I'm also thinking about the financial aspects. I'm not rich. I doubt I’ll be able to afford to rebuild and replenish all that I’ve lost. I’ll be lucky enough just to get the damage to the shop repaired and try to keep going with what I still have.
Sobs overtake me, wracking my body, and I collapse to the floor in a heap.
What the hell am I going to do now?
Chapter 3 - Gabriel
I run my hands through my dark hair in exasperation. I need to get up and walk around, but if I do that I'll never get any work done. I've been reading through these documents that my temporary secretary typed and they’re all wrong. Whatever agency sent her over, I need to have a word with.
I make corrections to all the documents and put them in a pile on my desk, my agitation brewing. I'll have to have someone else with actual experience in this line of work redo them. My phone rings loudly on my desk. I try to ignore it and keep working. It rings again so I look at the caller ID. After a moment’s hesitation, I decide to answer it. I could use the momentary break from work. "Hello?" I say, as I put my pen down and flex my hand a few times to relieve some of the cramping.
It's my friend Tim. "Hey Gabe, whatcha up to? Working hard?" He asks playfully.
"Of course. It's a weekday, isn’t it?" I reply in a serious tone.
Tim is my best friend and has been the more laid back of us two. "You say that like weekends are any different,” He teases. "Haha." I say sarcastically into the phone.
I pick my pen back up and resume working while I talk. "So, what made you call so early?" I ask him, “I can’t remember the last time I heard from you before noon.”
"Well, I wanted to tell you about this auction that's coming up. It's in town." He explains.
I stifle a sigh. "I don’t know. I have a lot going on at work right now," I hedge, trying to make an excuse.
"Aw, come on, it's been forever since we hung out, or since we’ve gone to one of these! Besides, at least this one’s in town, so there won't be any long trip." He says, trying to convince me.
This time, I let out the sigh. I realize it has been a long time since I've gotten laid. Besides, it might do me some good to take my mind off of work. "Ok,” I relinquish finally, “Count me in. When is it?" I ask him.
"Great! In about a month. I'll call you later on to let you know for sure. Trust me, this will be good for you." He says.
I just smirk, and pencil it into my calendar as a meeting. "Yeah maybe so." I reply.
He laughs, "It will be,” He assures me, “I promise. You need to loosen up and stop focusing so much on work."
I just shake my head. "Goodbye, Tim." I say before hanging up.
I put the phone down and get back to work.
There's a reason I don't cut loose, or have relationships. I try not to think about it, but I can’t help it. It was heartbreaking all those years ago to have to break up with the only woman I ever loved. I promised myself that I would never hurt like that again. So far I've done a good job of it.
These auctions play a huge part in that, to be honest. I can just go and pay for the services that I need without any of the messy emotional attachments that usually go along with a relationship. Frankly, I prefer it this way. It's easy and its convenient.
The more that I think about it, I realize that I am excited to go with Tim to the next auction. It will be good to have some fun again. That's usually the kind of women that you meet at these things anyways. They just want a little bit of fun, or to let their wild side out. It's definitely not the worst way to spend an evening. But for now, I force myself to concentrate on work.
And now that I'm looking forward to the auction. I push all the messy feelings about my past aside.