Stupid Love (Stumbling into Love 1)

“I spent my adult life talking to people about love and sex and relationships. I thought I had all the answers, while at the same time, refusing to believe love was possible for me.”

I was standing. When did I start standing?

“It was Elijah who taught me what love is. Who made me feel it. And y’all don’t know how scary that is. I was in denial, and I was a mess. I was vulnerable and emotional, but I would have moved the world to make him happy. I spent my life thinking love is stupid, and I’m not sure I don’t think that still. Oh my God, why do we put ourselves out there like this? Cut ourselves open and give people the power to hurt us? That sounds pretty stupid to me.”

The crowd laughed, myself included.

“But there is no one else I’d rather be stupid with. No one else I’d risk my heart for.”

Shaw’s gaze held mine. My heart was going crazy, and I was caught between thinking I was dreaming or that I might have a heart attack and die right when my life was beginning.

“E… You told me not to give you flowers until it was real. I should have given them to you weeks ago, because it’s been real for a long time. I know I told you I wasn’t built for love and monogamy, and maybe I used to think that, but I don’t anymore. I’m built for you. I’m crazy, stupid, head over heels in love with you.”

“I love you too,” I said, but the room was large, and I realized I wanted everyone to know. “I love you too!” I shouted, and that damn smile he gave me lit up my soul. Then I was running toward the stairs and onto the stage. I threw my arms around Shaw, and his squeezed me. We were hugging, and people were clapping and cheering.

He cupped my face in both hands like he so often did, and peppered kisses all over my face. “I’m sorry. It’s you I want. No one else.”

“I know. I love you too.” Shaw’s love was a powerful thing. I felt it when he chose documentaries to watch with me. When he took dance classes with me or rubbed my feet when they hurt. He was so good at loving people and I was damn lucky to receive it. I turned to the mic, wanting to make sure everyone knew how I felt. “I’m crazy, stupid, head over heels in love with you too.” He deserved that. He deserved the world.

Then we were staring at each other, and I wanted to jump his bones but figured that wasn’t a great idea in a room full of people—including my parents.

“Gorgeous, right?” Shaw said into the mic. “My boyfriend is so hot.”

I laughed and wondered how he couldn’t realize how great he truly was.

“You gonna dance with me, E?”

“Yes,” I replied, still unsure if I was dreaming.

Susanne came out and moved the mic. The music came on, and we looked at each other. My breath caught, and I totally couldn’t believe he was mine.

And then…then we danced.

It wasn’t perfect. We messed up a few times, but it was us, which made it perfect to me.

Afterward, there was a loud applause, and Shaw and I stood there and took it all in. My mom, dad, and Danny were standing, clapping, and cheering the loudest.

Shaw tugged on my hand and nodded toward the door. It was all very Dirty Dancing, which made me smile.

I went with him and savored this moment, but as sweet as that was, I couldn’t forget that Shaw had hurt me.

The second we stepped outside for privacy, he said, “E…I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you, baby.”

“You really did.” My eyes darted down, but then his finger hooked beneath my chin, and he tilted my head up.

“I know, and if you forgive me, I promise, I’ll never hurt you like that again. My head was all screwed up, but that’s not an excuse. I…I love you. I’m so fucking in love with you, and holy shit, that’s even harder to say when it’s just us than it was in that room. But it’s true. You’re it for me. My animated-movie happily ever after.”

My stupid heart melted into a puddle, and I didn’t even care. Shaw and I had more to talk about, that much I knew, but in that moment, none of it mattered. The only thing that did was… “I love you too. You’re it for me as well. I love how annoying and cocky you are.”

One of his brows rose.

Of course he had to make a dick joke. He didn’t have to say it out loud for me to know it. “Shut up,” I added.

“Seriously, though. I should have called you. I should have talked it out with you. And what I said about your feelings for Danny…fuck, that wasn’t fair of me to use that against you.”