Awkward Love (Stumbling into Love 2)

“Okay,” Jameson replied. It was me who began walking first then, and Jameson who stopped me with a hey. I looked at him. “You’re, um…really incredible. Do you know that?”

Why were there butterflies flitting around in my stomach? That had never happened to me before. My body was suddenly a butterfly garden, and I didn’t like it one bit. Instead of telling him that made me feel all light inside, I winked. “Of course I am, baby.”

Jameson rolled his eyes, but he was smiling too. It was one of my favorite things, being the reason he smiled.

We walked over just as Kira and Ali showed up. I introduced everyone to one another, and then the seven of us decided to walk around the park.

Of course it was Shaw who opened his big mouth first. “You seem like such a cool guy, Jameson. I don’t understand how you put up with Will. I appreciate your taking him off our hands. He was becoming a little clingy.”

“Ha-ha, with a side of fuck you,” I told him. “Also, you wish I’d be clingy with you.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t.”

“Just ignore them, Jameson,” Elijah told him. “They’re always like this. Really, they love each other and are the best of friends, but they have to play off this weird dude-bro thing.”

“Hey! I’m not a dude-bro! Your boyfriend started it.”

“Because you didn’t do the same when he got with me? Obviously, he’s going to do it now that you’ve got a man.”

Jameson stumbled at Elijah’s words. I reached out and helped steady him, trying not to feel disappointed at his reaction. Was the thought of being with me that bad for him? “Jameson and I are just having fun,” I said.

His eyes darted to mine, and for a moment I thought I saw hurt there, before he looked away. “Yeah, just a fling,” he replied.

Kira walked up and looped her arm through Jameson’s just as Elijah added, “Uh-huh. That’s what they all say. Anyway, enough about them. I like this shirt.” He tugged on Jameson’s button-up. “Your style is so cute. Even at the auction, I was envious.”

Elijah was wearing a cropped T-shirt like he so often did, with a pair of dark jeans. Jameson looked at him, his eyebrows practically to his hairline. “Really?”

“Absolutely.” He looped his arm through Jameson’s other one. “We should exchange numbers and hang out sometimes. I have a feeling with these two, we’ll understand each other on a real level.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’d be great,” Jameson replied. Kira let him go, and Elijah and Jameson pulled ahead of us, chatting as they walked. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Elijah was doing it to make Jameson feel more comfortable. Not that I didn’t think they would get along outside of us, because I did think they would. But he was putting himself out there, and I appreciated it.

Shaw’s hand came down on my shoulder and squeezed. “We got you, man. I give you shit, but you know I’m happy for you.”

My heart started doing that stupid stumbling thing again, and as much as I appreciated it, I had to remind myself there was nothing for me to be happy about. “It’s just a fling,” I said softly.

“Yeah, sure. And Elijah and I were just hanging out.”

We walked around for a while, Elijah and Jameson chatting quite a bit. Eventually, we found an empty space in the grass. Ali had brought a blanket, which she laid out for us under a tree.

Kira, Brooklyn, Jameson, and Elijah were all chatting. Elijah was talking about ballet, and then they asked about Jameson, and he mentioned he was starting graduate school.

“No shit? That’s awesome,” Elijah said, and I felt a strange swell of pride in my chest, hearing Jameson talk about what he wanted to do and hearing that Elijah was impressed by it. My professor was pretty damn impressive.

After that, Kira and Jameson started recounting some story from when they were kids, each trying to talk over the other. Elijah and Brooklyn were laughing. It reminded me of that day in Piedmont Park.

As if she could read my thoughts, Ali leaned in closer to me. “I see it, ya know? I did the first time the four of us hung out, but I see it even more now. You look at him the way I always looked at her. You should tell him how you feel.”

“That’s what I said!” Shaw spoke a little too loudly, and everyone looked at us. “Nothing. Carry on,” he told them, and they went back to their discussion.

“It’s not that easy,” I replied, surprising myself that I didn’t try to deny it.

“Nothing worthwhile ever is. I was scared as shit I would ruin what I had with Kira by telling her, but look at us now.”