Awkward Love (Stumbling into Love 2)
It wasn’t yet, not completely but, “It will be. I’m sorry I left. I had to talk to Jonathan.”
“It’s okay. I understand. Are we…are you sure we’re okay?”
“We will always be okay. I’m not going anywhere, if you’re not.”
“I’m not. I love you. Do you want to talk to me about what happened?”
I told him a little bit. Not all of it, only what I could tell without betraying my brother’s confidence. I told him I was spending the day with Jonathan, that we were going to talk to our family this evening. “If he doesn’t need me afterward, is it okay if I come over?”
I heard the smile in his voice when he replied, “Yeah. I always want you here. I mean, not that I’m asking you to move in with me or, I mean, not that I’m not either. I’m not saying I do or don’t want you to move in with me. I’m just saying—oh God. Tell me to shut up.”
“Nope. I’ll tell you that what you find awkward, I find adorable.”
“You have some strange kinks.”
We laughed, spoke a little while longer. I made sure he was feeling okay about what we discovered—this didn’t only affect me, but Jameson too. When he assured me he was, we got off the phone.
It was weird, spending the day with Jonathan. We never did shit like that, but it was nice too.
He was nervous as hell when we went to Mom’s house, when we sat the family down and Jonathan told them he was gay. My brother was gay. I still couldn’t believe it.
Mom had cried but told him she loved him, just like she loved me. Nothing would ever change that. Nolan and Brad were, well, shocked wasn’t a strong enough word, but I knew they wouldn’t walk away from him.
And then Jonathan surprised me again when he said, “I think we all owe Will an apology for how we’ve treated him. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t think he was better than us, but we treated him like we were better than him.”
Our gazes caught, and in that moment I finally felt what it was like to have a brother, a real one who loved you and had your back.
The family discussion went from Jonathan to me, and I admitted a lot of things I’d never admitted to them. Mom cried more, and in the end we all hugged, said we loved each other, and made plans for us four brothers to start spending time together. We chatted some about the business, and some money problems they were having, and tried to come up with a plan of action.
When our evening ended, things were better. It wasn’t perfect. There was no pretty bow, but life rarely turned out that way. We were works in progress, but we were going to start putting some effort into it now, and that was what mattered. Eventually it would get better.
It was almost eight when I knocked on Jameson’s door. He tugged it open and pulled me inside.
“I’m so tired,” I said as we hugged.
“Let’s go lie down.”
We went to his room. I took off my shoes, and we got into his bed that way, fully clothed, and just held each other. I told him everything that happened at Mom’s and more of how things had gone with Jonathan and me.
“I love you so much. And I’m so proud of you.”
“I love you too. And I would, ya know? If you wanted to, I would move in with you. I don’t care if it’s early or if people think we’re rushing it. I know who I want.”
Jameson didn’t reply right away. At first, I thought I’d said the wrong thing, but then I looked up at him and saw his eyes were watery. “You’d really want to live with me?”
“Well, yeah. But it’s fine if you’re not ready. We can wait. I just wanted you to know that’s how serious I am. Then, when we’re busy with school and work, we’ll still have this every night. No rush, though. We can—”
“Yes,” Jameson cut me off. “Let’s do it.”
This giddy excitement filled me. I wanted this. I hadn’t realized how much.
I rolled toward him, went to lie on top of him, but didn’t notice how close we were to the edge of the bed. Jameson went tumbling off, and I went down too. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry!” he said.
“I’m not. I was the one who caused it. Plus, it was adorable and awkward and so, so us.”
We laid there on the floor, laughing and kissing, in love.
EPILOGUE
Will
Winter Break
“Dude, I’m so excited I get like, three whole weeks of my supersmart boyfriend’s attention.”
“I’m exhausted. It’s been a long term.” Jameson grinned sleepily. We were lying together on the couch when we had no business being lazy. Not when we had visitors coming over to celebrate the start of winter break. “But it’s been great too.”