Messy Love (Stumbling into Love 3)

I was already on edge too, ready to spill my load between us, but I didn’t want this to stop either. I wrapped my arms around him, dug my nails into his skin, which only made him quicken his thrusts.

“I wanna ride you,” I said.

“Fuck yes.” He flipped onto his back, pulling me with him. Still, he came out of me, leaving me feeling empty.

“You gonna put that thick cock inside me again?”

“Might not ever wanna leave.”

Jonathan held the base of his erection as I lowered myself on it. The angle was different, the feel of him inside me different too, and then I was seated on his groin, looking down at him.

He pumped lube into his hand, then leisurely stroked my dick while his stretched me out. “I’m in love with you,” Jonathan said softly. “I love you.”

My chest swelled to the point that it was actually hard to breathe. “I love you too.”

“Really?” The vulnerability in his voice slayed me.

“Don’t sound so surprised. Of course I do. You’re it for me.” I lifted up slightly, and he fucked into me. My eyes rolled back. “Fuck yeah. Right there. That’s the spot.”

We moved together, him taking me and me riding him. Jonathan stroked me as we went, the feeling in my balls growing, intensifying, and I began to tremble. Sparks went off at the base of my spine and shot up to my neck, my vision blurred, and I broke apart. I spurted between us, spraying come on his abs, hand, my own chest. Each time he pumped into me, I shot again, until Jonathan was tensing beneath me. He cried out, his cock spasming in my hole as he succumbed to his own orgasm.

I fell on top of him. We were sweaty and sticky with our release. We breathed heavily together, Jonathan’s hand trailing up and down my back. He kissed the top of my head over and over again.

I didn’t know how long we lay there together. Eventually, I pulled off him, took the condom off his flaccid cock, and said, “I’ll be right back, handsome.” I knew he liked this part, liked me to take care of him afterward, and damned if I didn’t enjoy it too. I knew I was the only man to ever see Jonathan this way, to ever make him feel comfortable enough to let his guard down, and nothing in the world compared to it.

I tossed the rubber in the trash, wet a cloth, and cleaned myself up before putting it under the faucet again.

He watched me, his arms behind his head, as I wiped his groin, stomach, chest. I threw the rag to the floor and climbed in bed beside him, tossed my leg over him, my head resting on his wide chest.

“I really do love you,” I told him. “I used to be scared I’d be like my dad, but the way I feel about you…I’d never leave. I’ll never hurt you.”

“I know. There’s no one I trust more than you.” We stayed there together, cuddling until we fell asleep.

It was early when Jonathan woke me. “I gotta go.”

I was surprised to see he was already dressed, his hair wet from a shower. I must have slept through it all. “Where?”

“Home. Well, not home. To my mom’s. I need to fix this, to sort out all the shit with her and my brothers. I feel like I’m going to break out of my skin if I don’t.”

This was important. I knew it was, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it scared me too. I was afraid Jonathan would get there and change his mind, realize it wasn’t worth it. Being gay, coming out over and over, family trouble, losing friends…it was a lot. Jonathan had planned to spend his whole life pretending, so what if he went back to that?

There were questions there, questions I hated but that were often in the back of my head: What if it was me who wasn’t enough? What if he left the way Dad did, or wasn’t really interested the way Garrett wasn’t?

“Okay,” I replied. “I’ll be here, waiting for you.”

“I… Thank you.” He nodded, turned, and walked away.

There was a soft voice inside my head telling me he wouldn’t come back. I’d been left before.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Jonathan

I waited for the nerves to come, but they didn’t. At this point, I was just so over it. This had gone on for too long, and I was putting a stop to it all today.

I’d called Will, Brad, and Nolan on the way over and asked them to meet me at Mom’s before letting her know we’d all be there soon. Brad and Nolan were already there when I arrived. I waited outside for Will, wanting us to go in together.

“Thanks for coming, man,” I said when he pulled up.