The Subtle Art of Brutality
His eyes slink about. Serpent. His throat clicks at the speed of light. He needs to think of something. If he is going to lie he should have concocted it before now.
“To rekindle, I suppose.”
“Marriage not work out?”
Incredulous: “I beg your pardon, but you cannot seriously—”
“Yes or no. Has your marriage failed?”
“Why must you assume I am married? I have no wedding band. I am not fat as so many married men are. I—”
“Only a married man has a ‘mistress.’ Single men have girls, girlfriends, bitches, baby mamas. A distinguished man like you uses the correct label for everything. It would be an insult to your superior self-perception to do otherwise.”
Angry. Seen-through.
“Very well. My marriage has ended. Quite abruptly.”
“Because of your affairs?”
“None of your business.”
So yes.
“And now you want to rekindle an extramarital affair? Correct? Why did the affair end in the first place? Wife find out?”
“The wife and I spent our time in therapy trying to salvage our marriage. Now it is over and I want my old girlfriend back.”
His throat clicks again. A tell.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want her back?”
“So we may continue, as I stated earlier.”
“Does she want to be found?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, why do you need a private detective to find a woman whom you think will still want to be with you? If she’s that in to you she shouldn’t be hard to find.”
“Will you take the case or not?” Cut to the chase.
“What’s her name?”
“Denise Carmine. White female, age thirty-two. Brown and blue. Five-foot-eight, one hundred and thirtyish. Divorced, no children. Drives a white Toyota sedan.”
Impressive. And dangerous.
I lean forward, one elbow on the desk. That hand I rest my chin into, the other hand still holds him unwitting, inches from death. “Let me tell you about a common theme running through my office.”
“Very well.” Impatient red rising up his collar. The throat clicks. I already know my answer.
“I need to make this clear. Dudes come in here asking me to find the ex-girlfriends they’ve been hiding from their wives. It happens. For some reason man will court a woman, spend money on her, make plans with her, propose to her, marry her, live with her, make children with her, and then cheat on her and risk everything. Much like yourself.
“Some of these guys get away with it. Some don’t. But they all hide their affairs. Some want to hide them deeper than others. Those are usually the guys who have something to lose and they decide that whatever it is, they don’t want to lose it. So they come in here and hire me to find these girls.