A Christmas Night to Remember

The very fact he had used her full name told her he was beside himself—that and the rigidity of his features.

‘I can’t reach you, can I? That’s the nub of the issue,’ he ground out flatly. ‘You’ve shut me out more effectively than I could have imagined. There’s no room for me any more. We’re not a couple. Perhaps we never were. Maybe all I imagined we had was just wishful thinking on my part.’

She didn’t know what to say. That she had hurt him to the core was very clear, but if Zeke held power over her when he was his normal confident, intense and demanding self, it was multiplied a hundred times to devastating effect in his hurt vulnerability. ‘I—I thought I could get back before you woke up,’ she said weakly, the excuse sounding lame even to her own ears. ‘And I didn’t mean to be out for so long, but I met someone—an old lady with her dog. We—we talked for a bit.’

‘Really? And this old lady and her dog were such riveting company that it completely slipped your mind you had a husband who might—just might—be a tad worried that you had up and disappeared in the middle of the night to goodness knows where?’

‘I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.’

‘You can’t talk to me?’ He gave a harsh bark of a laugh but didn’t slow his footsteps or look at her. ‘You’re priceless, do you know that? Absolutely priceless. Only you could say that.’

She felt sudden tears burn her eyes, but blinked them away furiously. How ironic that just when she had begun to think they might have a chance he’d decided they were through. He had had enough and she couldn’t blame him. She’d acted like a crazy woman over the past months and she couldn’t—hand on heart—promise him she was any less scared of the future. He didn’t have to put up with this, and why would he?

By the time they reached the hotel her legs were aching badly from the unaccustomed exercise, but she would have walked on hot coals before showing it. They had just entered the lobby when Melody saw the Japanese family, coming from the direction of the dining room, the two little girls clutching beautifully dressed dolls and chattering away to each other. The mother smiled at Melody as they approached, clearly remembering their conversation the day before. ‘Santa found his way, as you can see,’ she said serenely, secure and content in her role as wife and mother. ‘And the reindeers must have enjoyed the carrots because they were all gone this morning.’

‘That’s good.’ Melody stopped and admired the children’s toys before saying, ‘Have you seen the snow family that came in the night? I think Santa must have brought them too.’

‘Oh, yes, they were delighted.’ As the father walked on with the children, the mother turned, her voice soft as she said, ‘Someone has been very busy.’

The two women exchanged a smile before Melody and Zeke walked towards the lift, and as the doors opened Zeke said flatly, ‘How come a stranger gets your smiles?’

Taken aback, she stared at him. ‘I’m sorry?’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ He pressed the control panel, and as the lift swept them upwards he thrust his hands deep into the pockets of his trousers, his gaze on his shoes.

‘Zeke, please let me explain. Can’t we talk at least?’

‘Wait.’ He raised his head, pinning her to the spot with his ebony eyes. ‘Wait till we’re in the suite.’

The few seconds until they were standing inside the sitting room seemed like hours, but then Zeke shut the door behind them and Melody forced herself to turn and look at him. His first words took her completely by surprise. ‘Is there someone else?’

‘What?’ She stared at him in utter bewilderment.

‘Have you met someone else?’ he repeated stiffly.

‘Me?’ Her voice was a squeak, and she cleared her throat before she managed, ‘Of course not. How on earth could I have met someone else when I’ve been in hospital for the last three months? I’ve only seen doctors and other patients.’

‘Stranger things have happened.’

‘Well, not to me.’ She struggled to keep her voice steady while anger streaked through her. How could he think that? How could he? ‘And I resent the question.’

He stared at her intently, and what he read in her face must have reassured him on that point at least because she saw the granite features relax. ‘I’m sorry but I had to ask. It would have explained a good few things—not least why you felt it necessary to creep away on Christmas morning and disappear for umpteen hours whilst making sure you were incommunicado.’

‘It wasn’t like that,’ she protested weakly.

‘Actually, that was exactly what it was like.’

She watched him take a deep breath and realised he was having difficulty holding on to his self-control. He wanted to yell at her, to shout. He calmed himself with a few more deep breaths and she marvelled at his willpower. ‘What I meant was I didn’t deliberately not call you,’ she said tentatively. ‘I simply didn’t think.’

‘Great. That makes it much better,’ he said with grim sarcasm. ‘I’m so unimportant I didn’t even register on your radar.’

‘Stop being like this.’ Her voice came out sharper than she had intended—probably because she was desperately trying to keep cool so she could think about what to say, how to reach him. ‘I hate it when you’re this way.’

His eyes went flint-hard. ‘Like what?’ he said slowly and deliberately. ‘Like I’m angry or hurting or scared rigid? Like I lie awake every night trying to make an impossible situation possible again, knowing I’m up against an adversary who holds all the cards because I love her? My life is falling apart and everything’s disintegrating. I am going quietly crazy and I can’t concentrate on anything but us. But I mustn’t show it. Is that right? Well, tough. I’m human, believe it or not.’

Melody’s heart stopped. Zeke was always professional, the consummate business tycoon. No matter what happened he didn’t let it interfere with his work. She hadn’t really thought about how her accident was affecting him because she had been too caught up in her own pain and grief, but if she had given it thought she would have expected he was carrying on as normal, engrossed in the daily exhilarating and hectic whirl that made up his show business empire. But that hadn’t been the case at all. And he had already admitted he was blaming himself for not meeting her for lunch that day, as they had originally planned. The guilt of that must have been playing on his mind too. He’d been tormenting himself every bit as much as she had.

She swallowed against the painful lump in her throat as her heart kick-started and then pounded against her ribcage so hard it hurt. How had she missed the fact he was suffering too?