Something She Can Feel

“Take her to the office,” I screamed, out of breath.

“Fuck that! Let that bitch go. I’ll drop that load for her! She don’t want to see me!” Zenobia was still rapping, even as I pulled her toward my classroom.

“And Mike don’t want you. He don’t want your stanky pussy no way,” Patrice cried.

“Get her to the office,” I said again to the boys. “And the rest of you, go to the cafeteria.”

When I finally got Zenobia into my room and seated at my desk, I realized that one of my earrings had fallen out in the tussle and my bun was hanging loose.

“What was that?” I asked, standing in front of Zenobia at the desk. She was still hot and looking like she wanted to race out of the room and find Patrice. If she had, she might’ve made it. I was worn out.

“I just told you,” she said. “She came over here to fight me. I was just leaving class and she came up in my face ... man, fuck this ...” She kicked my desk.

“Zenobia, don’t you dare use that language in here,” I hollered. She just looked away and didn’t say anything. “Now, it doesn’t matter who attacked whom.” I swiveled the chair around toward me. “That girl is pregnant. If you hurt her, you’d be arrested. Do you understand that?”

“Well, she’d be arrested, too ... for hitting me.” Zenobia’s voice dented and she slackened a bit in the seat.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked and suddenly I remembered the little pouch I’d noticed beneath Zenobia’s shirt the week before.

“You know what it mean.”

“You’re pregnant?”

She didn’t say anything. She just looked down at the floor and shrugged her shoulders.

“Oh, Zenobia.” I got up and closed the door. “How did this.... What happened? You just had a baby.” I stopped and looked at her. “Is it Michael’s?”

“Yes,” she said. “I ain’t no ho.”

“You’re still seeing him? Even after he got Patrice pregnant?”

Disturbed, I sat down on top of the desk beside Zenobia.

Mr. Gentry, one of the security guards, burst into the room.

“What’s going on?” he asked with his hands clutching the weapons strapped to either side of his hips. “You been fighting?” He walked over to Zenobia. She kept her head bowed and focused on her knees. Her big talk had gone with the crowd. “Wild girl. You always in trouble.”

“It was a fight,” I said. “One student is in the office and ... I’ll bring Zenobia down in a second. She needs to cool down.”

“You sure?” he asked. “This one’s evil as a snake.”

“Yeah, I’ll walk her down. Don’t worry.”

“Okay,” he said, looking at me doubtfully as he inched away. “I’m going to be waiting at the end of the hall in case something happens.”

“Great.”

When Mr. Gentry walked out and I was alone with Zenobia again, I didn’t know what to say. I was so disappointed. Zenobia wasn’t the best student. But she was smart and if she’d just lose some of the anger she had, she could actually graduate from high school and maybe one day support herself and her baby. This was saying a lot at a high school where fifty percent of our students either didn’t graduate or receive a standard high school diploma.

“How did you get into this, Zenobia?” I asked finally. “You already know what it’s like to have a baby. It’s not easy.”

“I can’t let her just take him,” she said, looking at the door. “She having a boy. He wanted a boy.”

“So you got pregnant to keep Michael?”

“No, it ain’t like that. I love him.”

“But, Zenobia, he’s sleeping with other girls. And is he taking care of your first child?”