Something She Can Feel
“Half ? My father paid for half of this house?”
“He volunteered. Went to the bank himself. I thought it was the best thing to do. This is what you wanted.”
“Yes, but not like this,” I said. “Damn... . That’s why Jr’s so sure he can get me to come work at the church. He knows I owe my father.”
“You don’t owe him anything. I just think it’ll be a good gesture.”
“You don’t know him like I do. My father cares. He loves me a lot. I know that, but if I don’t pay attention, he’ll plan the rest of my life.... Sometimes I think he already has.”
Chapter Sixteen
The day after Evan told me about the money, Jethro Cash was someplace he seldom frequented. Just as I was about to let my last class go on Wednesday afternoon and consider if I was even going to take the trip to Atlanta, he walked into the classroom.
I was standing in front of the sopranos, going over some notes they’d confused in “Amazing Grace.” He came in and excused himself, tiptoed to my desk and took a seat. He was wearing one of his chocolate brown suits and had his old brown hat in his hand.
When we finished and the bell rang, he clapped proudly as they exited more expeditiously than I’d ever seen them. At least seventy-five percent of the kids were raised in Prophet House. “Hey, pastor,” they said respectfully, waving as they walked by the desk. “Good job, kids!” he replied. “I’ll see you tonight at Bible study.”
“Hey, Daddy,” I said, walking over to the desk and bending down to kiss him on the cheek.
“How are you?”
“I’m fine. What brings you out here? The last time you came to see me teach was five years ago when I won Teacher of the Year.”
“Ah,” he began, “don’t be so skeptical about your old man. Maybe I just wanted to see my little girl. We don’t talk much anymore. Not since you got married.”
“I know.”
“Speaking of marriage, I spoke to Evan today. He came by the church,” he said.
“I knew it had to be something,” I hissed and stepped away from him.
“He was concerned. That’s all. Wanted to talk.”
“Look, Daddy, I don’t know what kind of deal you and Evan made, but I don’t want any part of it,” I said. “We’ll pay you back everything.”
“You think I care about the money?”
He slid the hat onto the table and stood up.
“I just want you to be happy,” he said. “So does Evan. What’s so bad about that?”
“No one’s saying it’s bad. I just want to be financially free from you and Mama,” I pleaded as he walked over to me.
“You’ve been saying that since college and I don’t understand it. Do you know how many children wish their parents could give them five hundred thousand dollars to buy a house? How many parents wish they could do that for their kids? It’s a blessing.”
“You gave him five hundred thousand dollars?”
“It’s not about the money, cupcake.”
“Yes, it is,” I cried. “Gosh, I’ve been struggling all these years, all this time to just try to be myself, to be who I am, and all this time everyone is just pulling strings above me. I don’t know if I chose any of this or if you just gave it to me.”
I started to cry and hid my face to stop the tears.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry. You know that hurts me,” he said softly.
“It’s not just you, Daddy,” I said, feeling bad that I’d gone this far with him and raised my voice. My father was who he was, but I was raised to respect him and I believed in that.
“Look, if you want to be financially independent, that’s fine with me,” he said. “I only did it because I wanted to make you happy. I wanted you and Evan to start out with your dream house instead of waiting fifteen years to get it like me and your mother.”