Something She Can Feel
“Well, you know there’s more to it,” I said.
“Really, there’s not. Clyde can do whatever he wants. He’s not married and he wasn’t in a committed relationship, and unlike everyone else here, I don’t think anyone can belong to someone else just because they’ve been linked to one another for a hundred years. I knew I was getting involved in a sticky situation when I agreed to date Clyde. He obviously still loves her.”
“He said that?” I asked.
“I tried to call the police after last night but Clyde took my cell phone and said his mother would kick his ass if Billie went to jail because of him.”
“I don’t understand, then, Karen,” I said. “If you know he loves her, then why would you keep seeing him?”
“I’m twenty-one. I just want to have fun. And Clyde just wants to have fun, too. He’s right here in Tuscaloosa and it’s not like I’m trying to marry the man. Clyde’s too old for me,” she scoffed. “I’m seeing someone else anyway and that’s why I wanted to go to the club to see Dame.”
“The club? You’re trying to date Dame?” I asked.
“No,” she said, grinning. “I’m trying to get back with my ex-boyfriend—Benji. You know, Dame’s bodyguard that came over when you were talking to me and Clyde at the club?”
“Oh, that’s why he seemed so angry and rushed.” I recalled the furious look on Benji’s face when he saw me with Clyde and Ms. Lindsey.
“Yeah, he’s the jealous type, and I thought if he saw me with Clyde, he’d get upset and want me back. He’s been tripping off all those groupies ever since he’s been on tour with Dame. But I keep telling him when it’s all over, he’ll be looking for me. I know it sounds insane. But I love him... . You know how love can make you do crazy things.”
“I’m learning that,” I said.
“Anyway,” Ms. Lindsey said, looking at her watch, “I only have fifteen minutes before my monsters come back from lunch.” She looked at me. “Don’t worry about your secret. Just keep your friend away from me.”
“I’ll do that,” I said, and we walked out of the office together. “Ms. Lindsey,” I called when she turned to walk back toward her classroom.
“Yes?”
“Did you tell Clyde you’re not serious about him?” I asked.
“No,” she said. “He knows I’m just having fun.”
“No... . He’s a little older than the ‘just having fun’ age,” I said. “I think you should tell him. Make sure you two are on the same page.”
“Gotcha,” she said, winking her good eye like she was breaking in a flag football game. “I’ll think about it.”
Watching her walk down the hall, I noticed that on one of the benches in the lobby sat Zenobia. Even though this was her normal resting place between classes, I didn’t expect to see her there because she hadn’t been to my class. I was sure she skipped other classes, but for most of my students, music was at least tolerable if they were in the building. She was slumped over with her head resting, cheek down on the tops of her knees. Her arms were hidden somewhere, folded into her lap.
“Ms. Hamilton?”
I stepped toward her. She didn’t look up, move, or shrug her shoulders to acknowledge that I’d called her name.
“Zenobia?” I called again. Nothing. “Zenobia?”
I tapped her on the shoulder.
She moved slowly to lift her head, looked at me, and averted her eyes. They were dry but red and puckered.
“Everything all right?”
“No,” she said blankly.
I sat down beside her and pushed my body close to hers, easing down to rest my elbows on my knees to be head to head with her. We sat there for a minute, not saying a word. Zenobia just stared out toward some of the students rushing to their classes, and some of my own even walked by en route to my classroom, but I felt I needed to wait there with Zenobia.
“Ha, ha, you ain’t gonna make the cheerleading squad next year,” one girl teased another. “You dance like you got two left feet, Calaya!” The two laughed and popped their gum as they followed the crowd down the hallway. A single tear slipped from Zenobia’s left eye and she wiped it away quickly with one of her fists.
“You want to go to the office?” I asked.
“No.” She looked at me for the first time. “I went today.”