Something She Can Feel

Dame grabbed my arm and pulled me.

“Let me talk to him,” he said forcefully.

“Look, I don’t need that kind of thing. No fighting. Evan isn’t like that. Please don’t get out of the car and start something. Let me handle this.” The pounding inside of me was fear now. Dame didn’t say anything. He went to one door to open it and I went to the other.

Evan was pushing Mr. Green out of his way and walking toward the limousine when I opened the door and got out.

“Journey, what the hell is this? Who is this?” Evan said, coming to me.

“I’m—” I tried so hard, but I couldn’t lie. Everything was right there for him to see. Dame came from the other side of the limousine and stood behind me.

“Dame?” Evan looked from me to Dame and then back at me. “What is this?”

“I—”

“She’s here with me,” Dame said.

His admission immediately paralyzed me. I was aching. Everything I didn’t want to happen was now happening. I closed my eyes and prayed it wasn’t real.

“Journey ... Journey, look at me,” Evan said, coming closer and reaching for me.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” Dame said. He pushed himself between me and Evan.

“Dame, don’t do that,” I said, stepping back. “Evan, I’m sorry. I was just here talking and ...”

“I don’t care what you were doing. You shouldn’t be here. I told you never to see him again.”

“She’s a grown woman. She can see whoever she wants.”

Evan didn’t even respond to Dame. His faced turned red with pain, he just looked at me confused, bruised, and angry. I’d never seen him like that. I’d prayed I never would.

“Let’s go,” Evan demanded. “Come get in my car and we’re going home.”

“She’s not leaving,” Dame said, pushing Evan away from me. The two tussled, pushing back and forth before Mr. Green and I broke them up.

“Stop it, both of you,” I cried. My heels were digging into the loose dirt. “Just stop.” I held my arms out between them. Mr. Green managed to get Dame up against the car and I stood in front of Evan.

“Fuck this gay-ass nigga,” Dame hollered. “Journey, tell him. Tell him you’re not leaving with him. That you want to be with me.”

“Come on, Mr. Mitchell, don’t do this. We don’t need to get in trouble down here,” Mr. Green said to calm Dame down and s

top him from charging after Evan again.

“What’s he talking about?”

“Let’s just go,” I whispered as tears filled up the corners of my eyes.

“No, I want to know. How long have you been meeting him here?” Evan’s face just broke into desperation.

“Tell him,” Dame said.

“It’s nothing,” I said. “I don’t want to hurt you. I’m so sorry.” I felt a tear hit my cheek and roll down to my mouth. Dame was still hollering out to me, but Evan wasn’t saying anything. He just stood there and looked at me the same way May had looked at Jr that night at the old house. I could see his chest heave and then he turned and walked to his car. I looked back at Dame and wiped away one of my tears.

“Don’t do this,” Dame shouted, trying to push Mr. Green off him. “Don’t leave. You know you don’t want to be with him. Come with me.” I began to step away, and right before Dame stopped fighting with Mr. Green, he called my name again.

“Journey,” he shouted and his voice sounded so broken and rushed, like he was fighting for me to keep my life, that everyone just froze where they were. I turned back to him. “You said I was electric.”

I nodded.