Playing Hard To Get

“Okay, I don’t. Whatever.” Tasha shrugged her shoulders and broke up a noodle for Toni. “Why? Why are you asking me this? And is there a quiz afterward? Because I paid for my grade in that class…. I’m just gonna be honest.”

“No, Tash. There’s no quiz. I was just thinking about this case I’m working on. Well, I guess it’s not just a case. I’ve become kind of involved in this place and I was thinking maybe—”

As Tamia said much about nothing and it seemed she was never getting to a point, Toni and Tasha looked at her in the way friends look at other friends who are newly in love and thus stuck in the labyrinth of their own desires. This, of course, was exactly what the mother and daughter thought they were looking at.

“I’m sorry,” Tasha interrupted. “Is there a man involved in this? Because you just look like…there’s a man involved.”

“No,” Tamia lied. “Look, I have to get out of here. I need to stop by the office on my way home.”

“Work, work, and work,” Tasha said.

“A sister has to work hard for the money.” Tamia slid a twenty onto the table and signaled for the waitress, saying, “I need a box.”

“Keep the twenty and leave the dumplings,” Tasha said, pulling Tamia’s bowl toward her.

“You sure have an appetite,” Tamia said. “What about your ever-going Halle Berry plan?”17

“That’s on hold right now,” Tasha said quickly, looking away from Tamia.

“Cool. I love you two,” Tamia said before kissing Tasha and then Toni goodbye and walking out of the dark restaurant.

“And we love you back,” Tasha said. She turned to Toni and grinned. “And Auntie Tamia will have to love less of us after Mommy’s operation. Won’t she, Toni?”

Toni, seemingly indifferent to her mother’s plans, reached for a piece of noodle on her plate and stuffed it into her mouth.

“Much less,” Tasha confirmed for herself. “That’s what full-body liposuction is all about…much less.” She looked at Toni. “Now let Mommy get one of her last good meals in before Dr. Miller makes her all perfect again. Your daddy is gonna love this surprise.”

?

The BAP Declaration of Independence

We, the Black American Princesses of the universe, do hereby hold these truths to be self-evident—that black women are created to be fabulous, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable powers, that among these are intelligence, strength, beauty, and courage.

Henceforth, each sovereign BAP shall remain in charge of her own destiny, in tune with her true spirit, and empowered by her God-given strength.

She shall honor her Declaration of Independence by following these basic rules:

1. Always know the way home and have a way to get there.

2. Never let anyone extract you from the love and support of your family and friends.

3. Have a passport and a nice set of luggage.

4. Have a relationship with your Creator; when all else fails you, that’s what will keep you alive.

5. Have secret “get up and go” cash that will last a year; make sure there’s enough to support your children.

6. Protect and honor your mother at all costs.

7. If you’re sick, see a doctor; worry about the bill later.

8. Learn how to do a breast exam.

9. Use condoms—always.

10. Get your education; your grandmother was right.

11. Have at least one girlfriend who knows your secrets.