“Do you love her?”
Right to the point, that was Wanda Jennings. River smiled. “Whoa, let’s not get carried away.”
A soft smile passed over her face. “She loves you. I know it.”
He held up a hand. “I see those wheels of yours turning, but don’t get your hopes up. I’m barely back on her good side right now.”
His mom took a drink of her ice water. “You’ve put her through a lot, you know,” she chastised. “I think maybe you were her first and last crush.” She paused before asking, “Are you afraid you’ll let her down? Not be the man she imagines you to be?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” Uncomfortable with the conversation, River stood and began pacing.
“You’re a good man, son. I’m very proud of you. But you have to stop living in the past or you risk losing the future.” When River’s gaze met hers, he knew she spoke the truth, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak past the rock lodged in his throat.
She stood and came to him, placing a comforting hand against his cheek. “And River, you will have to be extra patient with her. She’s always looked at you with total adoration, but if you push her away too many times, she’s liable to take the hint and go. For good.”
His mom was right, as always. “I love you.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “I love you too, sweetheart. And I want you to be happy. That’s all. Just happy. You deserve it.”
River took her hand in his and stroked his thumb over the back of it. How many times had those hands comforted him in the middle of the night after he’d woken screaming? How many times had she stayed until the wee hours of the morning so he wouldn’t be alone with his demons in the dark? His dad had been the same way. Always there, always a pillar of strength. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anythin
g.”
“Was Dad proud of me?” His voice came out gruffer than he’d meant it to.
To his utter horror, his mom’s lower lip quivered, and she started to cry. Don’t panic, he told himself. You can handle this. Thankfully, he didn’t think words were needed. Instead, he took her into his arms and held her tight as she cried. The tears soaked his T-shirt, and he wished like hell he’d never opened his big mouth.
Once she appeared to be winding down, he leaned back and saw her smiling up at him. “Do you remember the time you got in that fight at school? Grady Mason, I think was the boy’s name.”
River frowned as the memory surfaced. “He’d been picking on Reilly, if I remember right. Why?”
“I was so worried for you. You seemed so filled with anger in those days. You rarely smiled. But your dad always had faith in you. He was so proud of you that day.”
His eyes widened. “He grounded me for a month because of that fight.”
“But you were defending your brother,” she replied softly. “See, he knew you would always put family first. He had nothing but unconditional love for his sons, and don’t you ever doubt it.”
His heart filled to bursting with emotion. “I loved him, but I don’t think I ever told him.” He looked away as tears filled his eyes. “I-I’m sorry.”
“You might not have said it with words, but you showed it in other ways.” She patted his shoulder. “He knew, River. He always knew.”
His hopes rose as her words penetrated the barrier of guilt around his heart. God, he was a lucky bastard. He understood the gift his parents had given him with their total acceptance. And he would always cherish it. “Thank you. I will not let you down,” he told her solemnly.
“Of course not.” She hugged him tight. “You’re a Jennings, after all.”
They wrapped up their conversation, and River was about to leave when his mom yanked one last promise out of him. “Bring Jeanette to dinner next week,” she said. “I haven’t seen her in a while, and I’d like to catch up.”
He cringed. River knew his mom. Dinner was only a way for her to get her hands on Jeanette. She would attempt to play matchmaker for sure. It was what Wanda Jennings did best. Although, the idea didn’t make him want to run in fear the way it once had. Clearly, he was getting soft.
An image of Jeanette’s shiny, dark hair and subtle curves came to mind. The pull of lust in his loins was immediate. He kissed his mom good-bye, then left her to her baking. By the time he reached his SUV, his cell phone chimed, signaling a new text. The words on the screen had him grinning like an idiot.
I’M HOME. COME OVER ANYTIME. :)
Within minutes, River was back at Jeanette’s apartment building. At first, he only stood in the shadowy part of the street, watching her window. She’d gotten under his skin. This need he had to protect and be near her, it was new and left him feeling exposed. River shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, still watching her window for some sign she was inside, safe. What was he doing? She deserved better than him. A guy without all the baggage would be a good start.
As the seconds ticked by, he was suddenly struck with the odd sensation that he was the one being watched. He whipped around as if expecting to see someone behind him, but only darkness greeted him. He turned back around and just about jumped out of his skin when he came face-to-face with Jeanette.