Until Ashlyn (Until Her 3)

“Have you been talking to Parker about having kids?” she asks quietly, and I frown.

“No, why?”

“He mentioned us having kids this morning, and asked when we are going to start.”

“What did you say when he asked you?”

“I said a few years.” She shrugs, taking a large bite of her sandwich, and I stare at her in disbelief.

“We are not waiting a few years,” I deny, feeling my lip curl at the idea alone.

“Really, and what was your plan?” she asks sarcastically, raising a brow.

“Now. The sooner the better. We haven’t been using protection, so it could happen anytime.”

Staring at me with her eyes wide, she shakes her head and mutters, “I’m on birth control.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am. I’m on the shot. My next appointment is in…” She looks at the ceiling, wiggling her head back and forth, then drops her eyes back to me. “Just about eight weeks away.”

“Cancel it. You don’t need to get it again.”

“Pardon?” She sets her sandwich down on her plate and crosses her arms over her chest while narrowing her eyes on mine.

“You don’t need to be on the shot, and why didn’t you tell me you were?”

“Have you been trying all this time to get me pregnant?” she questions, sounding pissed off, and I know by her tone I should probably tread lightly.

“I didn’t know you were on anything.”

“So you have been,” she mutters, looking away from me. “Wow, just when I think you can’t get any crazier, you go and do something that makes me wonder just how much crazier you’re gonna get.”

“I want a family with you. There is nothing crazy about that. I want to see you holding our kids the way I’ve seen you holding Hope, and I want to see that smile you only give her directed at our babies.”

“We’re just getting to know each other as a married couple. I want kids, but I don’t think right now is the time to have them. I want us to have time, just the two of us, before we bring a baby into our family. And I just graduated! I just started my career.” She waves her hand around. “I want to enjoy all of this stuff for a while.”

“One year, I’ll give you that long,” I compromise, and she leans close, placing her hand against my jaw.

“At least two. You won’t change my mind. It’s me who will have to carry our babies, and it’s me that us starting a family will affect the most. It should be my decision when it happens,” she says then lowers her voice, hitting me right in the gut. “I love you, and I want you to have everything you want, but I also need you to love me enough to understand this is you and me. This is our future. We should be making these big decisions together.”

“You’re not giving me the opportunity to make these decisions with you.”

“If I wasn’t on birth control, we would probably be pregnant right now, and that would have been all your choice. So don’t try to make me feel bad about telling you what I need.”

“Fine,” I grumble. “I’ll wait until you tell me you’re ready, but just so you know, I’m not happy about it.”

“Trust me. You’re making that very obvious.” She laughs, closing the distance between us and touching her mouth to mine.

*

“I’m guessing by the make-out session we walked in on when we got back here that you and Ashlyn are okay,” Parker says, and I hear the smile in his voice but I don’t turn to see it. My eyes are glued on where my wife is standing in the kitchen at the island with my nephews, showing them how to make monkey melt—whatever the fuck that is.

“We’re good,” I mutter back, then smile as I watch her throw her head back, laughing at something one of the boys said. Pulling my eyes from her, I turn to face my brother, catching his smirk and a look on his face I can’t read.

“What?”

Taking a pull from his beer, his eyes go to the backyard. “I honestly never thought I’d see you settled down.” He shakes his head, returning his gaze to mine. “And I sure as fuck never thought I’d see you in love.”

“Why?”

“You’ve always been obsessively focused on your career. I didn’t think you would ever find someone you’d care about more than that.”

He’s right; I’ve always been focused on my career, because I wanted to be someone our parents would have been proud to call their son. Everything has, in some way, been about them and keeping their memory alive. Until her. She changed my focus and brought me back to life. She made me realize there are more important things than money and work.

“She changed everything,” I say quietly, more to myself than him. I hadn’t realized it until now how much she’s changed me.