Where We Began (Stone Lake 2.5)

Except, apparently, she was. Because, Gavin Lodge blew back into town and made sure he saved the day and claimed the girl. I’m not even mad. Not really. I’m… jealous.

Damn jealous.

I cared about Luna. We had been dating for a while, I was invested. I trusted her, and I sure as hell didn’t expect her to throw me to the side without a backward glance. If I live to be one hundred and three, I’ll never understand women. I force myself to look away from her when she stretches up to kiss Lodge.

That chapter in my life is fucking gone. I need to burn the whole damn book.

“Have you heard how Howie is?” Danny, one of my men asks, thankfully tearing my attention away from Luna.

“Waiting for the doctor to come out,” I tell him, rubbing the back of my neck. Howie’s a good man. Young and green, but a damn good man. I can’t help but feel like this is my fault. I still don’t know how it happened. We didn’t hit anything going into the old school, but Howie and two others were in charge of securing the perimeter, and apparently Atticus, Larry, or fuck who knows at this point, had rigged the back field with explosives to alert them if we tried to sneak in the rear entrance. The other two men were fine, but from what I’m told, Howie’s in bad shape. He’s in emergency surgery at the moment, and I can’t do anything but sit here and wait.

My gaze moves out over the waiting room, and I observe Howie’s parents sitting in the corner. The man is holding his wife close and just letting her cry quietly. I feel the weight of her tears. Howie was my man, and I didn’t protect him enough. I failed to prepare him for battle on the field, because that’s what being a cop is sometimes.

War.

“You did good out there, Kingston. This shit, it’s not on you.”

I look up at Lodge who has walked over and thankfully Luna isn’t with him. I should hate the man, but the hell of it is, I like him. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to beat the shit out of him every time I see him with Luna.

“I should have made sure they took better care securing the perimeter.”

“You were leading the men into the Lion’s den. The man had been through training, Kingston,” Lodge reminds me of shit that I already know, but don’t really give a damn about right now because it doesn’t change anything.

“He’s barely sworn in,” I growl under my breath.

Lodge doesn’t have much to say to that. Instead he slaps me on the back in support.

“How’s Josh?”

“Good, been through hell and seen shit he should have never seen, but he’ll be okay. The doctors are giving him a once over just to make sure.”

“How’s your sister?” I ask, memories of the pretty blonde who was beaten, violated, and broken still burns in my mind. I doubt the memory will leave me anytime soon.

“If Atticus was alive, I’d kill the bastard all over again,” Lodge replies, not really answering my question, but telling me enough, I guess. His sister is in bad shape, and she’ll never be the same again. Hell, if his bastard brother was alive, I’d kill him again, too.

The doctor comes out and I turn to watch as he slowly strides over to Howie’s parents. I can’t hear what he says, but then I don’t need to. I know by the way Howie’s mother falls against her husband and the howling sound of agony that is ripped from her.

Fucking hell, he’s dead…

Junie

“How are you feeling?”

Like someone tried to get me to suck on his pencil dick that smelled like piss and then beat the shit out of me when I refused. Violated because he tried to push the issue.

I don’t answer with that. I want to… but I don’t.

It’s the day after everything went down. I’m still in the hospital, but the doctor says I can get out of here tomorrow, and I’m definitely more than ready for that. I’m not sure where I go from here. Part of me is demanding I load my shit up and get the hell out of Dodge. The problem with that is I’m kind of happy here, or I was until yesterday. I don’t really want to skip town. I love being this close to Gavin and to Joshua. I don’t want to leave…

I look up to see the sheriff staring at me. I refuse to feel ashamed, but that emotion is there, waiting in the wings. I fight it down. I did nothing wrong. This is not on me. The only thing I did was be a damn magnet for monsters that hide in plain sight…

“I’m fine,” I answer, my voice sounding anything but. I avoid the sheriff’s knowing look, almost as hard as I’m ignoring the pity in his eyes.