Stroke of Luck

“What do you want to know?” she asked.

He wanted to know what it would feel like to stroke his hand along her soft thigh … then up under her skirt …

Calm down, man.

“What was it like when you were with him?”

“It was … wonderful. Quinn really saw me. Really listened to me. I was important to him, and that made me feel important.”

He took her hand and squeezed it. “You are important, April.”

Her lips pursed, and she nodded. “That’s very nice of you to say. It’s what we always say.”

Her gaze turned to his, and the depth of pain in her shimmering blue eyes tore at his heart.

“But when you don’t feel it inside yourself, it doesn’t matter how much someone tells you it’s true. When everyone in your life who is supposed to care has abandoned you without a thought, it’s hard to believe otherwise.”

She leaned forward and picked up her drink, then took a sip.

“But with Quinn, I could feel it.”

She stared silently at the contents of her glass. At her long hesitation, Austin leaned forward, watching her teeth tug on her lower lip.

“What are you not saying, April?”

She sucked in a deep breath. “Just that it also made me afraid. If I let myself believe I was special to him, that he really cared, and then he left…” She frowned. “I didn’t know how I would deal with that.” Her words were hushed, as if she didn’t want to say them out loud.

He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her he cared about her. That he would never leave her if she wanted to be by his side.

Fuck, what the hell was he thinking?

“So you pulled away?” he asked.

“No. I loved being with him. I loved how it made me feel. Especially at the beginning when he was very attentive. Spending every day with me. Calling or texting when we were apart. But then life kicked in again, and he turned his attention back to his work. I mean, it makes sense. We’d both fallen behind on our academic deadlines with being so focused on this wonderful new relationship. I totally understood Quinn jumping back into his work. His dedication to what he’s passionate about was one of the things I loved about him. But once I’d experienced what it was like to have someone put me first, not seeing him for a week or more at a time made me miserable.”

“You didn’t tell him?”

“No. When we were together, everything was great.” She gazed wistfully into space. “Better than great.”

She set her drink down and leaned back with a sigh.

“I finally realized that it was just the way he is. It wasn’t his fault that I had issues. And I wasn’t going to put that on him. It was my flaw.”

“So you broke up with him.”

She gazed at Austin, her eyes pleading for understanding.

“I had to. Losing my heart to him would have been a disaster.”

Austin saw the pain in her eyes and squeezed her hand. Maybe it was a disaster she hadn’t actually avoided.

“But, April, if you had told him—”

“No,” she interrupted. “Telling him about the problem would have been the same as asking him to choose me over his work, and I would never do that.”

He settled back on the couch and swirled his drink.

“So I’m curious. Why did you agree to this arrangement with Quinn?” he asked.