His to Command
“He wouldn’t have liked that. You were our biggest client.”
“That’s right. I knew what Ileana had said to him, and I didn’t correct her. Of course, why would I? It was true.”
“Matt, I understand why you’d feel that way. I felt the same way about you. That’s why I left the project. But that doesn’t have to affect us now.”
“But that’s not all.” He paced. “I instructed Personnel not to give a reference for you at all.” His mouth compressed into a thin line. “Ileana pushed me to do it—to hold back a reference—but ultimately it was my decision. I should have been a bigger man, but…” He shrugged. At the time, it hadn’t seemed anywhere near enough to punish her for her rejection. He knew she was good at what she did, so she’d be okay. He just didn’t feel like helping her after the pain she’d caused him.
“But it seems the word got out that you weren’t welcome at Cutting Edge Industries, and it’s a small tech community, after all.”
* * *
Kate watched the pain etching Matt’s features. She could understand why he would refuse giving her a recommendation given the situation. But she remembered how hard it was when her boss told her they were having trouble finding a contract for her, then after a few weeks of her sitting on the bench, how they’d finally laid her off, telling her there wasn’t enough work.
“That’s why I was let go.”
He nodded. “That’s not all. When you went looking for work elsewhere, the other consulting companies refused to take you on because your reputation was rapidly crashing. Cutting Edge wouldn’t recommend you, your ex-employer had dropped you like a hot potato, and any firms that did come asking about you quickly got the idea they were taking a big chance with their own reputations.”
“Are you saying that they were afraid to be associated with me because your company wouldn’t have anything to do with me?”
He shrugged. “That’s the way it is in business. One black mark can destroy a career.”
Pain and anger blazed through Kate. She remembered the panic that had swept through her as weeks, then months passed, and she hadn’t been able to get work. At first, her boss had assured her they’d find something, then they had laid her off. She’d approached other consulting firms who had courted her in the past but who now flatly slammed the door in her face. Even the smaller firms. A couple had taken a chance and bid her on a couple of contracts, but those didn’t pan out and, finally, one helpful associate had given her the tip about a contract in Connecticut and suggested that starting over in a new location would be a good idea. Everyone had assured her it had been the state of business in New York at the time. She’d had no reason to question it.
But now, to find out that Matt had been the cause of her career plummeting …
“You destroyed my career? You ripped away all the good will I’d built up. Wiped out all the hard work I’d put in.” Having to pack up and leave everything behind her had been devastating. She’d loved living in New York. She’d had friends. She’d had a great place to live.
She’d had a life she loved. But she’d had to walk away from it all.
“I’m sorry, Kate.”
“You’re sorry?” She glared at him in amazement. Did he think that could fix everything? “Did you know the effect this was having on me?”
He sighed and stared past her. “I wish I could say I didn’t.” His gaze caught hers, but at the blaring anger emanating from her, it flicked away. “But I did. I hadn’t realized how broad the effect was, but I did know it was causing you problems.”
“So you and Ileana must have enjoyed that. The two of you”—she cast a look of disgust at the big bed they’d just shared for their poignant lovemaking—“lying in that bed having a good laugh.”
His lips compressed. “I never laughed about it, Kate. I never even discussed it with Ileana. I’d been bitter and angry, and I admit, I wanted to hurt you, but I hated myself for it. Even then. And now. Oh, fuck, what I wouldn’t give to take it all back. To make it different.”
“But you can’t. And you can’t change who you are.” Her hands clenched into fists and she paced the room. “Why do you think I never wanted to submit to a man? Because you don’t care who you hurt. It’s all about being in control. Making the world the way you want it to be. And if you can’t have that, then you strike out to hurt others.”
Just like her father had. He’d controlled Kate and he’d controlled her mother. And Matt had done the exact same thing. But she saw it now and she’d never, ever let it happen again.
“Kate—”
His tone, the look in his eyes, told her that he was going to make a plea. To proclaim his love again and tell her he was sorry and wanted to make it up to her. But she couldn’t take it. She wanted nothing to do with him.
She slashed her hand through the air. “No!” She shoved the sheets away from her, mindless of the fact she stood before him naked, then she strode to the closet, grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt, and pulled them on, heedless of her lack of underwear. “I’m out of here.”
She strode to the door, then retrieved her purse from her room. Moments later, she hurried down the street. She tugged her cell phone from her purse and called for a taxi.
* * *
Kate opened the dryer door and pulled out her warm clothes, then placed them in a heap in her blue plastic laundry basket. It had been almost a week since she’d run out on Matt and her heart still clenched at the thought of his betrayal. She dumped the basket of clothes on the sorting table, picked up a light gray shirt, and folded it.
She’d ached knowing how he’d suffered after she’d walked out on him two years ago with no understanding of why it had happened, but then finding out how he’d taken his revenge on her cut her to the core.
“Hey, Kate. There you are.”