Getting Dirty

I shove up from the stool and turn away from him. ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

‘I haven’t seen you this on edge since... Well, since that shit went down ten years ago.’

I flick him a look. I want to flip him the bird too, but, hell, I know he’s right. Not that talking about it, thinking about it, is going to help right now.

‘Look, she’s coming here soon. Do me a favour and send her down to the garage on the quiet? I don’t know whether you have a leak or not, and I hope for your sake you don’t, but...’

‘You don’t want to risk it getting out?’

‘Yeah.’

‘No problem.’ He straightens and gives me an assured grin. ‘Get yourself down there; you won’t be disturbed unless it’s her.’

‘Thanks, mate, I owe you.’

‘And for what it’s worth, Ash...’ he says.

I’ve started to head off but I look back at him, knowing I should probably keep on going.

‘I’m happy for you. She’s a great girl.’

‘And she could do a lot better than me.’

He shakes his head, but I’m gone, heading towards the private access that leads to the basement car park. The same way I took her out of the club the other night. Can that really be only a week ago? So much has changed since then...and yet nothing.

I’m still the man hired to dish the dirt on her—on the face of it, at least. But now my focus has changed, my goal is reversed, and navigating that while trying to protect her is messing with my head. Not my heart. Because I can’t be in love with her—not yet. Falling, yes. Getting in deep, yes. But in love...?

I slam open the door and sprint down the stairs, wishing I could keep on running, sprint until my lungs burn, until that’s all I can think of. Not this crazy confusion and the fear that it’s sparked.

No one falls in love this quickly—no one.

* * *

Blacks is bustling when I get there and sweep inside, my feet eager to take me to him. Eager to get me out of the public domain, away from the fear of exposure, of saying or doing the wrong thing when my emotions are riding so high.

I enter the main bar area—the place where I first saw him—my eyes desperately scanning, but he’s not there. Disappointment fires anew and I take out my phone to send him a text.

‘Coco?’

I look up to see Jackson heading towards me, smiling.

‘Hey.’ I try to smile back but I know it’s shaky, and my voice is trembling in its simple greeting.

‘Ash is waiting for you downstairs.’

My heart skips. He’s here. Thank God, he’s here.

‘This way.’

He gestures for me to follow him. ‘Thank you.’

He walks me to the door that leads down to his private parking garage and opens it for me. ‘Give him my regards.’

‘Will do.’ My smile is real now, my voice solid.

Not even my heels can stop me racing down the stairs, and as I burst out into the car park he’s there, leaning against the bonnet of his car. He straightens as soon as he sees me, his reassuring form like a welcome beacon, and I run to him.

I don’t care about putting up a front, about manners or dignity, only that he’s here, and I can let go.