The Seduction of Lord Stone (Dashing Widows 1)
She sighed. Reaction set in and she suddenly felt deathly tired and disgustingly wobbly. “Of course it’s true.” When her mumbled admission set his eyes glittering, she raised a shaking hand to keep him away. “You’re the man I want, but West is the man I need.”
He frowned and that tiny muscle renewed its agitated dance in his cheek. “What the hell?”
“He’s perfect for a quick affair. You’re…not.”
“You’re deranged.” He ran a hand through his hair, becoming more beguilingly disheveled.
Her mouth dried and she swallowed to quash a pang of desire. To remind her why he wasn’t for her, and to punish herself for ceding to this futile pleasure, she pointed out the facts in a flat voice. “You’re in love with Fenella.”
When she’d seen them dancing a month ago, she’d been so sure that was true. His unaffected shock now made her question her conclusions before he spoke. “You bloody little fool. Is that really what you think?”
His swift and scornful dismissal had her lips tightening. “You’d be perfect together.”
If she kept telling herself that, she might come to accept it. That hadn’t happened yet.
He watched her with an intensity that made her shiver, despite the greenhouse’s humid air. “Indeed we would.”
The pain of hearing her impressions confirmed made her breath catch on an audible squeak. He continued before she could summon a response. “Which is a damned pity when I’m not in love with Fenella.”
Stupid to be happy about that. Dangerous. This pendulum of emotional extremes should be warning enough that she was better off with West. “You’re not?”
“No.” His smile was wry. “I’m in love with you.”
Shock stopped her breathing. The words pierced her like spears. The chains squeezed clanking around her chest again, starving her lungs.
“You can’t be,” she said in a constricted voice.
“I can.”
She’d been angry with him before. Sometimes she thought she’d been angry at him for months. Nothing matched the rage that flared at that moment. Reviving air rushed into her, lending her power to deny him. “You will not love me. I won’t allow it.”
He moved and she thought he meant to take her in his arms. Instead he regarded her with a masculine superiority that made her want to hit him again. “You have no power to change my feelings for you.”
She brushed back the hair tumbling around her face and struggled to her feet. She hated to be cruel to him, but she had to stop him before he lured her over that deadly edge. Beneath her anger lay the old fear of being trapped the way she’d been trapped with Freddie. Her voice shook as she spoke. “You won’t love me after I’ve given myself to West.”
The line of his mouth was grim. “Yes, I will.”
“And West’s successor. I’m not tying myself to any one man. I did that once and I loathed it.”
“Is that why you won’t have me? Because you think I want forever?”
No, she wouldn’t have him because she feared she was the one who might want forever. And forever was freedo
m’s opposite. She shook her head emphatically. “I’m not going to argue about this.”
“You’re a coward, Caro.” He didn’t shift to allow her access to the door. “I never realized that before.”
“That’s not fair,” she protested, stung. “You know what my marriage to Freddie was like.”
His expression was unrelenting. “I’ve guessed. You’ve never actually told me. Every time we approach anything like a serious conversation, you change the subject.”
“Then take my word for it, I’ll never marry again.”
“That’s devilish interesting, especially as I haven’t asked you.”
She flinched. Another humiliation to pile on this morning’s hundred other humiliations. “So when you say you love me, you mean the way you loved all those flighty widows and opera dancers?”
Bitterness edged her question. She hoped the reminder of his wicked past would make him retreat. He stayed planted in front of her, cornering her against the bench where she’d been seconds away from taking him into her body.