Going Under (Wildfire Lake 2)

The fact that Ben went to Jaime for help after all the turmoil he had over our previous relationship really shows he’s gotten over that issue and that he’s willing to make changes to keep things right between us. But I’m still confused.

“You know these are pretty expensive to dock locally,” I tell him. “It’s a big expense for something you’ll only use on weekends and holidays.” I stand and step into the V of his thighs. “I don’t need a boat to be happy here with you. I just need you.”

“Violet seems to think you and I can both have what we want,” he says.

“Then she’s not only imaginative, she’s delusional.”

He wraps his arms around my waist and clasps his hands at my lower back. “Not if we all go on your planned trip together.”

I tip my head, not sure I understand.

“I know this idea puts an entirely different twist on your dream,” he says, “and I’m okay if you don’t want to do it this way. I mean, going from one person sailing around the world to doing it with a guy and three little girls is pretty damn crazy on the face of it, but there it is. If that’s something you’d like to try, the girls and I are all in.”

“Whoa, hold on.” My head comes back. “Do you even realize what you’re saying?”

“It’s all I’ve been able to think about, so yeah. I mean, I’ve never done anything like this before, and I don’t even fucking know how to sail, but we’re all willing to learn. More importantly, we all want to be with you. And I can’t think of a better way to do that than to live that dream together.”

The idea of him being willing to give up everything he just moved here for is sweet but crazy. “You’re going to take your girls from a thirty-eight-hundred-square-foot house with a yard and a pool to a five-hundred-square-foot boat?”

“Before we moved into that thirty-eight-hundred-square-foot house, we lived in an eight-hundred-square-foot shack quite happily. As soon as we moved here, I knew it was too much house. I bought it more for the view than the space anyway, but there’s no view that could match the one we’d get from the boat every day. And here”—he taps the contract—“the ocean is the biggest saltwater pool in existence, and the deck is a perfect yard. We wouldn’t be giving up anything but trappings.”

I stare at him, take in the confident set of his shoulders, the quietly sober look on his face. A zing courses through me. “Oh my God. You’re serious.”

“You bet your ass. I wouldn’t bring this up with you if I weren’t.”

“What about their school? Hell, what about your work?”

“Homeschooling is totally doable, especially with an entire world to learn about. As for work… I’m thinking about a sabbatical. I never took any time off before or after Jana died, and I think it would be good for both me and the kids to slow down and spend this quality time together. If I get antsy, I’m sure I’ll be able to pick up volunteer gigs along the way. There are always nonprofit organizations looking for volunteer physicians to do short stints. As for money, Violet also bluntly pointed out that we have savings we can use to live. Evidently, she’s really good at eavesdropping when I’m talking to my family. And selling the house will give us all the money we need for the foreseeable future.”

I put my hands up in a stop motion. “Do you hear yourself? You’re talking about an entire life change. And not just for yourself, but for your daughters. And you and I have only known each other a couple of months. This plan sounds amazing to me, but that’s because I’ve been there, and I know what it’s like. This is totally foreign for you.”

“Look,” he says on an exhale, “I’m fully aware that anyone looking at us from the outside in will think we’re crazy. But all I care about is living from the inside out. Like I said before, life is so damn short. Jana’s greatest regret, aside form not being there for the girls, was of missing out on so much life because we started our family so young. Before she died, she made me promise that I’d live the rest of my life for both of us. I know she’d want me and the girls to go for this, really experience the excitement every day has to offer.”

My heart aches for all Jana has and will miss out on.

“If we take the next six months to plan everything out and prepare,” Ben says. “I have no doubt it will be a success. This relationship thing is as new to you as traveling the world is to me. I’m willing to trust you when it comes to sailing, and I hope you’ll be able to trust me when it comes to us.”

I let out a long breath. “I’m not sure if this will make us or break us.”

“There’s only one way to find out.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Jump with me, Kat.”

A bubble of laughter rises to the surface and breaks. I take his face in both hands and kiss him hard and deliberate. When I pull back, I nod and grin. “On three.”

He smiles and kisses me again. “On three.”

Epilogue

KT

Three years later

I stand on the deck of the catamaran with Violet, Poppy, and Jazz lined up along the edge. They've been perfecting their backflips into the Ionian Sea with mainland Greece to our east and the Greek island of Kefalonia to our west. Beyond Kefalonia lies Sicily, Italy. The waters are crystal clear in ultrapure shades of turquoise and cobalt, and the temperatures run in the midseventies, sunny more often than not and I pick up my camera to shoot photos.

Ben has been working on Kefalonia three months now, a temporary assignment with Médecins Sans Frontières, also known as Doctors Without Borders, setting up medical care for a refugee camp holding men, woman, and children from

Libya, Turkey, and Syria. This is the first time since we’ve started traveling two and a half years ago that we’ve decided to stay somewhere longer than a few weeks, but with history surrounding us, there’s never a loss for learning experiences, and the girls are like little sponges, soaking in every detail.

“Youngest first this time,” I tell the girls. “Jazz, try to get some height right off the deck, then tuck.”