The Complete Rockstar Series

“I’m a detective Ellie. I know what I saw. I’m not angry, well, that’s not entirely true. I’m fucking pissed. But really, I’m wondering when you were going to mention that you used to sleep with one of the biggest rock stars on the planet.”

I glance over to see his hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel, his face twisted into a scowl. He’s angry alright, and that makes me mad.

“Sod off, James! It’s none of your business who I’ve been with!” The nerve of him! “You’re the one that surprised me with the tickets, remember? And the special backstage passes. Tonight was not my idea, it was yours.” There is no way he’s going to blame me for something that isn’t my fault, let alone be jealous about a relationship that ended years ago.

“I wouldn’t have brought you had I known you used to fuck him!” James snaps back viciously.

“How dare you!” I shout, my face heated in defiance. “Take me home, I refuse to discuss this with you.” I turn toward the window and swallow back the lump in my throat. I can’t take the stress, not tonight. A surprise reunion with Adam and now my fiancé wants to fight about it? No thank you.

“El…” James begins.

“You have no right to be upset about anything here. I’m not saying another word to you. Just take me home.”

James pulls in front of my building and starts to speak.

“No,” I interrupt. “I’m so bloody angry at you James, I don’t know if I want to speak to you any time soon. Don’t call me, you’ll hear from me when I’m bloody ready, if I’m ever ready!”

I slam the door in his face and stomp upstairs. I don’t know if I have the courage to leave James. I don’t love him, not like I should. It’s more like I need him, his presence, I’m too much of a coward to be on my own. I’m entirely dependent on James.

When I let myself into my flat, I’m still trying to decide why I’m so upset. Is it because James and I might be over or because I miss Adam so damn much that it hurts? I stare at the obscenely large diamond on my left hand. What do I want? What do I deserve?

Confused and tired, I slip off the ring and put it on top of my jewelry box. I’m too tired to think about this tonight, so I sink into my bed and vow to deal with all of this in the morning.

25

Adam

I take out my phone for the hundredth time this morning to stare at the number on the screen. Gavin got Ellie’s number for me last night like I asked him to, now I need to man up and ring her so I can apologize for my behavior the last time I saw her. Well, she saw me. I don’t remember a fucking thing from that night, but according to everyone I know, I acted like a total bastard.

It’s not as though I didn’t try my best to scrape together enough money to fly home and find her, but between paying Danny to watch out for Callum Murray and the massive expense of living in Los Angeles, I could never manage to get ahead and by the time I could afford the trip, it seemed as if it were too late.

My attempts to get cash by doing some small acting gigs were completely squashed by none other than the now-famous Andrew Forrester. I didn’t even know the prick back then, never even met him, but he sure knew me somehow. Got every studio in town to give me the cold shoulder and I have no fucking clue why. If I ever do meet the guy, It’ll probably cause me a coronary trying to hold back my fists. The only thing that would stop me would be my refusal to disappoint Ellie by becoming just like my loser father.

And Ellie, now that I’ve found her, she’s fucking engaged! I have dreamt about Ellie Palmer so many times over the years that it sometimes feels as if she’s all I think about. Not once, in all of those fantasies, has she ever been engaged. Certainly not to some giant, meathead, arsehole copper. He’s completely wrong for her and she can’t even see it!

Shit!

I loosen my grip on the phone when the edges start to painfully dig into my hand. Taking a deep breath, I stare at the screen, hit send, and close my eyes.

“Hello?”

Nothing comes out when I open my mouth to speak.

“Hello?” Ellie repeats.

I clear my throat and force out the words. “Ellie? It’s Adam.”

Silence.

“Ellie? Are you there? Did you hear me?”

“Yes, I heard you.” Her voice is soft, hesitant. It brings back so many memories.

“Right, well …” Christ, I suck at this. She has me all tangled up in knots and I haven’t even been on the phone with her for a full minute. “I wanted to see you today, if I could. To apologize.” I rush the words out on a shaky exhale.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Adam.” She says the words, but I can hear the lie in them. She wants to see me, and I need to see her, to make her understand that we can have another go at it, that we’re meant for each other.

“Please, El. I’m begging you. Let me buy you lunch, give me a chance to make it right between us.” I hold my breath as I wait for her answer.