The Dictator (Banker 2)

“You don’t think I’ll be a good father, so why would you want to be with me? Being together would put you in the exact position you don’t want to be in. You would be living the life you ran away from.”

She didn’t have a response to that. Her eyes shifted back and forth before she sighed. “I don’t know what I would want in the future. But for right now, in this moment, you’re the man I want. Maybe in a few years that will change. Maybe I’ll want someone else. Maybe you’ll want someone else. That’s fine. But if you kill me, we’ll never know. More importantly, taking me away is going to hurt our child the most. I would never take you away from them, but you would do it to me?”

My right hand massaged the knuckles on my left hand as I was unable to come up with a response. “You betrayed me. You plotted to kill me, Siena. Let’s not pretend it was nothing.”

“And let’s not pretend I didn’t turn that damn car around.”

I turned my head and looked at the TV, not wanting to see the emotion in her eyes. “You’re right, I wouldn’t hurt you. Even when I’m pissed, I don’t want to hurt you. I make threats I wish I could follow through with. But when I kill you, it won’t be painful. I’ll make it as painless as possible. It’ll be over and done with in less than a second.”

“How sweet…”

I turned back to look at her. “I just want you to know this is real. It’s not a bluff. So if you’re just fucking me in the hope I’ll change my mind, you’re wasting your time. If anything, you should want nothing to do with me.”

“I know…” She dropped her gaze, her voice turning quiet. “I know I should want nothing to do with you. Even when we were seeing each other, I wasn’t supposed to like you, but I did. Now I shouldn’t like you at all. I despise your business, and I despise your choices. I despise your lifestyle. I despise your stubbornness. But for some reason…I just can’t stop feeling this way. I see past your flaws and see your qualities like bright beacons. I excuse all your mistakes because I love your successes. I don’t seem to care about the bad because all I see is the good. I’ll never forget all the things you’ve done for me, things you weren’t required to do. And even though you’re a monster, I just don’t see you that way…no matter how hard I try.” She kept her gaze down and wouldn’t look me in the eye. “When I saw you come home with those two women…I felt terrible. I was jealous, heartbroken, livid. And I just had to do something, anything to make it stop. Watching you kiss her…made me sick to my stomach. Then I did something I never thought I would do. I agreed to a threesome just to fight for you. For any other guy in the world, that never would have happened. But with you, I didn’t think twice. My feelings for you don’t make any sense. Maybe it was because I knew you didn’t really want them anyway…or maybe not.” She stared at the edge of the couch with a blank look on her face. She didn’t seem to be thinking about anything anymore, just sitting there in silence.

Now my feelings for this woman were even more confusing. I felt so many things for her but refused to share them out loud. Even though I didn’t trust her, I still believed her. I believed every word she said.

At least, I wanted to.

She lifted her gaze and met my look again. “I know you meant everything you said. But I still don’t believe you’ll do it. I know you better than you think, and I know you’re better than that. And even if I’m wrong…I would rather enjoy every day with you like I’m right. I would rather die not expecting it.”

11

Siena

“I know how to cook a few things, but I can’t cook like this.” I sat on the stool at the counter and ate my lunch. Eating nutritious meals for the baby wasn’t difficult when I had a gourmet chef who could whip up any healthy meal. “The salmon is so tender but so delicious. How do you do it?”

He shrugged, but the delight was written all over his face. He loved taking care of Cato’s home, but the place he shone the most was in the kitchen. “Many years of practice. It’s not just about the preparation, but the source of the ingredients. I go to the store every morning and fetch new ingredients to cook with every day.”

“Every day?” I asked incredulously.