Dirty Beginning (Dirty 0.50)

“We all agreed that what is best for the company is that you marry someone who is capable of running the company—a man your father and I would choose after years of scrutiny .”

I nod. I already knew all of this. It’s why I never really dated. It doesn’t matter whom I want to be with. It only matters who is best for the company. I’ve been told enough times to know that and that it would eventually happen. I’ll marry for my family, not for love .

It’s always been years into the future though. I’m only twenty-one. I haven’t even officially graduated yet. I haven’t even met the guys my father and grandfather have been considering. I haven’t tested out the guys myself to at least make sure whomever they might choose would be a good fit .

“Well…” Granddad pauses, like it’s hard for him to say the next words because he knows how much I’ll hate them. “We found him .”

My mouth falls open. I wasn’t expecting that. I didn’t know he and my father had already chosen a man for me. I thought I still had time left .

“You’ll meet him tomorrow .”

I nod. It’s all I can do .

“And then you’ll marry him in six months .”

My eyes grow wide at his words. Six months? I can’t marry someone I’ve never met in six months. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to tell if I like the guy in six months. I won’t even be over mourning my father in that amount of time .

“I can’t…” I whisper. The words feel strange falling from my mouth. I don’t think I’ve ever said those words to any member of my family, even my mother. I’ve always been the good girl following their every order. I’ve always been their princess who never disobeys. Right now, I don’t know if I can ever be that girl again .

Granddad walks over to me and rests his hand on my shoulder. It’s meant to be comforting, except that it’s not .

I can’t get married in six months. I just can’t. A

few years maybe. That was always the plan—do the modeling and acting thing for a little longer, and then in my late twenties, they would match me with a guy who they felt was capable of running the company but would also be a good match for me. We would date like normal people and then marry by the time we were thirty .

I’m only twenty-one. That’s nowhere near thirty. And I can’t focus on anything right now, except my father being gone .

“Oh, sweetie, you can .”

I incredulously stare up at him. I don’t know how he can focus on anything, except his son being gone, right now, but I guess the company comes first. It always comes first .

“I…I don’t think so.” My eyes beg for him to change his mind, to understand that I’m not ready to get married. I don’t even know who I am yet or what I want in life .

“I’m sorry. I know we all wanted to wait until you were older, but it’s time. I’m not getting any younger. I need to know that the company is in the right hands before I go .”

I tuck my long strands behind my ear. I can’t believe he is talking about his own death right now. I nervously run my hands through my hair over and over .

“I’m not ready,” I say without meeting his eyes. I can’t face disappointing him again .

“Yes, you are. You’re beautiful. You were born to marry a man who can run the Felton empire. Once you are married, you will see it was the right thing to do. You will feel taken care of. You will finally feel like you have found your place in this world .”

I let my eyes glance up at him for just a second. I see honesty. His eyes are filled with honesty .

“Maybe,” I say weakly .

His face brightens. “Yes,” he says .

“Yes,” I repeat on autopilot .

“The meeting is tomorrow at eleven a.m. at the Felton Grand on the strip .”

“Yes,” I say again. I stand up without looking him in the eyes. I walk out of the door without looking back .

I walk back to the basement, back to my haven. This time, when I slump into the chair, I don’t feel an ounce of comfort. In fact, I feel nothing. Sitting here, watching movies the rest of the day, isn’t going to help anymore. I won’t be able to zone out of them again. I just promised my grandfather that I would marry a complete stranger in six months. I’ve never broken a promise before, and I don’t plan on starting now .

I just don’t know what I want .

I think of everything I’ve been told I want—money, clothes, a modeling career, an acting career, and an intelligent husband who will run the company in order to give me even more money. But not one of those things has ever made me happy. I try to think about things that have made me happy—my family and Scarlett. But that leaves me with fewer answers .