Breaking the Cycle

“This has been one of the most exciting nights of my life.” Candy smiled as she slid out of the micro-mini. Her shoes had landed in the corner when she kicked them off. “Why didn’t you tell me your girl was hooked up like that? If I’d known, I wouldn’t have treated her so funky the first time.”

“You shouldn’t have treated her that way regardless. She’s a friend of mine. That alone should’ve been enough for you to treat her decently. Why does a person have to have some type of worth for you to be civil?”

“I’m not about to let you ruin my night with your bullshit. You might as well climb into bed and call it a night like I’m about to do. You better be glad they came along and saved us from the embarrassment you were trying to put me through.”

She turned her back and slid on the oversized nightshirt. Clicked off the light like I wasn’t even in the room. Leaving me to undress in total darkness.

CHAPTER FOUR

“So how long has this been going on?”

“It started about two months after she moved in with me. I was trying to help her out after she got put out by her roommates. Now, I understand why they dropped her.”

“Yes, she definitely seems to be a piece of work.” Nisha stared at me with compassion. “Eddie, you’ve got to get away from her. She’s bringing you down and someone’s going to end up getting hurt really bad.”

“But how can I just leave her?” I asked in dismay.

“There are ways, Eddie. Maybe you can sit down and talk with her. If you’re afraid of having the conversation alone, find someone to be a mediator. Here…” She reached into her handbag and pulled out a card. “This is a good friend of mine. He’s a really good therapist. His specialty happens to be abusive relationships.”

“Yeah, but abusive relationships where men are the victims?”

“Especially those types. After doing research for a project, he noticed there were a lot of men in abusive situations who had no outlets to lay down their burdens or their pain. They were afraid to share their stories because people would either laugh or call them wimpy, or punks. So, he decided he would be the ear they needed.”

“How long has he been doing this?”

“More than ten years.” She could see the doubt on my face. “Look, if you want, I’ll go with you. I promise; you won’t regret it.” She squeezed my hand in a reassuring gesture.

“Dr. Adelson, how are you? I’m Dr. Griffith.” He extended his hand toward me.

I was still a bit reserved about the entire thing, but anything was better than the nothing I’d been doing.

“Dr. Griffith.” I shook his hand. My palms were a bit clammy. I swiped them on my pants as I took a seat in the leather chair. “Nisha told me that you specialize in this sort of thing.”

“What thing would that be?”

“You know…” I paused and looked at him.

“The first step of working through any problem is being able to admit it.” He looked at me as I adjusted in the chair.

“I’m…” I swallowed hard. “In a relationship where my… girlfriend abuses me mentally and physically.”

I took a deep breath. I suddenly recognized what Terry McMillan meant about exhaling. With that confession, I felt like I was breathing deeper than I had in over a year.

“When did this all start?”

Dr. Griffith turned on a mini tape recorder as I unfolded the story of the hell that was going on in my life. His dark, intense eyes stared at me from behind a pair of stylish frameless glasses. His well-groomed appearance was non-threatening. The more I talked, the more I relaxed, allowing every horrid detail to spill from my lips.

“Here are a few numbers I think would be helpful for you. Remember, any type of abuse is bad. Be it emotional or physical. Just because you’re a man does not mean you should be ashamed. You have done nothing wrong, so never be ashamed.” He reached out and shook my hand again as I stood to leave.

“So, is this it?”

“Don’t we wish it were that easy?” He laughed. “No, I’ll see you this Friday. You can make an appointment with Francine on your way out.”

“Okay. Thanks again.”

“Remember, you are the victim here. If things get to the point where you feel they’re about to boil over, leave and call the police before going back. Make a paper trail.”

“I’ll try and remember that.”