Afterburn

He took the popcorn out of my lap and sat it on the floor between my feet. “Actually, I’m more interested in you showing me. You’ve seen what boys have to offer. Now why don’t you come check out what a man has to offer?”

Damn, I was scared as shit suddenly!

“Come here and kiss me,” he beckoned. “Just one kiss and you can tell me whether you like it or not.”

If there were such a thing as being weak in the knees when you’re sitting down, then that’s what I was; weak in the damn knees. I still wasn’t budging so he leaned over and kissed me. At first, I was timid and held back the tongue. Then I asked myself, What the hell are you doing, Rayne? Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted?

I decided to let it go and—by the time Ruiz and I came back up for air—Wesley Snipes was shooting his best friend in the movie and it was practically over.

It was the most intense kissing I’d ever experienced. Ruiz was right; men had a lot more to offer than boys. That kissing led to him taking me over to one of his friends’ apartments and blowing my damn back out. I’d seen numerous dicks, without a doubt. Boys had whipped their dicks out in front of me, trying to encourage me to feel them up or suck them off; neither of which was happening. But with Ruiz, it had been different. He’d kissed me so longingly that it made me feel desired; desired by the one person I’d always wanted to crave me. It had been like a dream sequence, him undressing me slowly and then undressing himself so I could gaze upon his exquisite form. When he took my left breast in his mouth, licking my nipple with his lengthy, moist tongue, I shivered. Ruiz knew what he was doing so I didn’t mind spreading my legs for him when he whispered, “Open up for me.”

He figured out—when he was sticking his dick in my pussy—that I was indeed a virgin. It was like navigating a maze, him trying to get his seven inches up inside me. Once we managed to work it out, it was painful in the beginning. Then I closed my eyes and settled in for the ride. What a ride it was; my first time. He sucked every inch of me—twice—and I loved it.

After we were done, Ruiz drove me home, and it suddenly seemed like there was some tension in the air.

“Rayne, I don’t know what to say,” he said about a mile from my apartment.

I sat there, in the bucket seat of his car, trying to find words to express what I was feeling. “Ruiz, I want you to know that I’m glad it was you.”

“Glad it was me?”

“Yeah, I’m glad you’re the one who took my virginity. It was as it should be.”

He sighed and turned the heat on in his car. The early morning chill had kicked in outside. “Rayne, you’re my little sister’s best friend.”

“And?” I asked. “Now I’m Chance’s best friend and your girlfriend, right?”

Ruiz didn’t respond. He pulled up in front of our building, shifted into park, and glared at me under the streetlight.

I got his drift. “It’s okay. I get it. I was something to do tonight; nothing more, nothing less.”

He reached for my hand. “No, it’s not even like that. I love you.”

I bit my bottom lip. Had he really said that?

“You love me?” I asked. “Really?”

“Yeah, I love you, like a sister and—”

“Never mind.” I yanked my hand away, opened the car door and got out. “Thanks for the movie. Tell Chance I’ll call her later.”

Ruiz jumped out of the driver’s side. “Rayne, let’s talk about this. We need to discuss it.”

“There’s nothing to discuss. It happened.” My back was to him and it was going to stay that way because tears were streaming down my face. “Take care, Ruiz,” I said as I entered the front door of the building and ran up the steps.

I sat in the stairwell on the second landing, wiping my face with my baby doll shirt. I tripped twice trying to get up that far. Heels and I didn’t agree well. I was ashamed. How could I have been so stupid? Then again, if I had to lose my virginity, I did want it to be with Ruiz. I’d expected it to be different, though; not during but afterwards. I’d expected him to be my man, to cherish me forever. Now I knew it was not to be; nothing even close.

Momma had a fit when I entered our apartment. It was the first time she’d ever beat me into our place and she wasn’t a happy camper. I must’ve had “freshly fucked” written all over my face because she knew it from the second she looked at me.

“You’ve been fucking!” she exclaimed, grabbing my arm and pulling me close to her so she could smell me.

“Momma, what are you doing?” I pulled away and headed for my cramped room down the hall. “I was at the movies.”

“Rayne, it’s three o’clock in the fuckin’ morning. Ain’t no movie theater open this time of night.” I tried to shut my door in her face but she pressed hard against it. For a minute, I struggled with her but finally gave in so she could enter. “Who were you out with?”

“A friend,” I quickly replied.

“What friend?”