Nervous

“I believe that you weren’t yourself last night. I won’t go as far as to say that you were a different person. I’ve seen that sort of thing in movies but never in real life.”

“Well, it’s not as uncommon as you might think. Last week, I searched the internet and there are thousands of websites dedicated to the topic. I even read some testimonials from other people who have the disorder.”

Mason cleared his throat. “This is incredible.”

“There was even this one woman who had more than forty personalities who spanned in age from infancy to the elderly, both male and female.”

“Say I buy into this, Jonquinette. What can you do about it? Do you need to be in some sort of hospital?” he asked.

“Goodness, I hope that I don’t need to be hospitalized. I am seeing a doctor. She’s as sweet as can be.”

“Well, that’s a positive sign, right? The fact that you sought help?”

“Yes, it’s positive. I only wish I’d done it years ago.”

“So she’s treating you?” Mason inquired.

“She’s a psychiatrist so thus far, we’ve just done a lot of talking. I just found out that she met Jude during one of my sessions. Jude came out because she was pissed off about my trying to bring my daddy back into my life.”

“Then your daddy knows?”

“I told him.” I shifted in the bucket seat. “However, he already knew something was wrong. He always has. My mother just never wanted to hear about it or accept it.”

“But she accepts it now?”

I shook my head. “She doesn’t know about the latest developments, but I plan to tell her the first chance I get.” I stared at Mason, who was sitting there looking into space. “I just want to thank you.”

“For what?”

“For at least listening to me and hopefully, for not judging me.”

“I have to confess. Last night threw me for a total loop, especially when you, I mean Jude, told me about what happened with Logan at the wedding. But—”

“But what?” I asked.

“Even though you were acting raunchy and told me about fucking everything that moved, it was strange because I still wanted to be with you. It went against everything I’ve ever believed in, but I still craved you.”

I blushed uncontrollably. “Really?”

He took my hand and kissed it. “Really.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Now that we’ve discussed this, I don’t want you to have to go through this alone.”

“I’ll have my parents.”

“Yeah, but you’ll also have me.”

We sat there in Mason’s car for a good while and I started telling him about all the childhood memories, or lack thereof, that I had. He was mesmerized and so was I. To think that he was still talking to me after what Jude had done was all I needed to know to make a final decision. Mason was the man for me. The only man for me.

29

jonquinette

I woke up early the next morning, miraculously, rejuvenated. Mason had come upstairs with me the night before and stayed with me for several hours. We didn’t really talk, at least not with words. We cuddled on my sofa and watched One Week and Love and a Bullet on cable, starring Treach, who was phenomenal.

Mason must have let himself out because when I woke up, I was covered up with a fleece blanket and the volume on the television was turned down.

It was just after seven A.M. and I was excited, since it meant that I could make it to the eight o’clock church service on time. I was determined to get my life on the right track and getting back into the habit of going to church was a good start.

Even at that time of the morning, church was packed. I managed to squeeze past a heavyset gentleman and take a seat next to an elderly woman on the next to the last pew. The music ministry moved me to the point where I jumped up and started stomping my feet. Normally, I would’ve been too embarrassed to draw attention to myself but something was changing. It was a new dawn.