Nervous

Subject: Cum and Dick This Down

Dear Dickin,

I saw your ad on the dating website and I am not one to mince words or play games. You live in Atlanta and so do I. Let’s hook up and see what can happen when we get “durty” together in the Durty South. I prefer to remain a mystery so all I’m willing to tell you at this point is that I have “the three F’s.” I’m freaky, fine, and I have a fat ass.

If you get this email right away, you are looking at the opportunity of a lifetime. I’m willing to meet up with you in a private place and fuck the living daylights out of you. Why, you ask? Because I’m bored, horny, and sick of not being able to find a decent fuck the traditional way.

It is now ten after four. You have until exactly six this evening to respond. After that, this offer expires and I’m moving on to the next man that catches my eye on the site.

Keeping It Real,

Durty

I stayed online but went to the kitchen to fix something to eat. There wasn’t a damn thing in there. I went through Jon’s purse to see if she had any cash and there was nothing so I hit up her reserve that she kept hidden in a sock in her lingerie drawer.

I got a twenty out and then called the closest pizza place to request a delivery. I wanted a pizza with all the red meat they could find on it. While I waited for the pizza, I turned on Jerry Springer. That’s my motherfucker right there. If they ever try to take Jerry off the air, I’m putting my foot to someone’s ass.

I had just sat down when the email chime went off on the computer. I got back up and went to read it.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Re: Cum and Dick This Down

All I can say is Damnnnnnnnnnnn! What’s up, my freaky honie? There is no need for you to search any further. I am definitely down for whatever. Just let me know when and where to meet you so I can check out those “three F’s.” I will be there, ready and waiting. I’m doing my tongue warm-

up exercises now and then I’m going to jack off a few times so I won’t cum for at least an hour when I tap that ass. Holla back at me with a quickness.

Dickin

Humph, he was beginning to sound like he was full of shit. I talked a lot of junk but I could back my shit up. I wasn’t so sure about him, but what the hell. Might as well find out. I responded right away.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Re: Cum and Dick This Down

All right, Dickin, it’s on. Meet me tonight at eight in front of the Paradise U.S.A. motel. If you don’t know where it is, get the directions off Yahoo. I have nothing else to add. See you when I see you.

Durty

I glanced at the time in the right-hand bottom corner of Jon’s computer screen and realized the pizza place was getting dangerously close to their thirty-minute guaranteed delivery time. Shit, free pizza is even better than good pizza.

With a mere two minutes left, there was a knock at the door. As I went to open it, I said, “Shit!” After I opened the door, I said, “Triple shit!”

The brother standing there in front of the doorway was just that: fine as triple shit. He was tall, dark, clean-shaven, and had lips to die for.

He just stared at me for a second, checking me out. I spun around and poked my ass out at him so he could get a better look.

“Do you like what you see?” I asked him.

“Uh, yeah, I love what I see,” he responded hesitantly. “Um, here’s your pizza.”

“Could you be a sweetheart and bring it inside for me?” I grabbed my right wrist. “I have that darn carpal tunnel syndrome, fooling around with that computer mouse and all.”

“Sure, I can bring it in,” he replied.