The Other Side of the Pillow

I blinked twice and then sucked in a breath.

“Jemistry, come on. This is ridiculous. We love each other and we’re bringing a life into the world together. Let’s get married. I have no intention of ever getting a divorce.”

“I’m sure you didn’t have any intention the first time.”

I regretted the words the second they left my lips.

“I didn’t mean it li—”

Tevin grinned and kissed me on the forehead, then whispered, “It’s okay. It’s the truth. And no, I can’t promise you that nothing will ever happen to break us up, but what I can say is that you’d have to leave me.” He gazed into my eyes. “I’m a man of my word. I didn’t file for divorce the first time and I won’t do it this time.”

“I understand.”

“Do you really? I want you to realize that when I marry you, and I will, the vows will mean everything to me, and I won’t default on them. I won’t turn my back on you . . . ever.”

I started walking again to avoid eye contact. I couldn’t possibly tell Tevin what was actually on my mind. I wanted to wait until I got past my second trimester before we got married. Even though I would be showing, I didn’t want to run the risk of having a miscarriage and having Tevin relive his nightmare all over again by being in a marriage with a woman who couldn’t give him a child. Despite what the tests said, and what my doctor said, I’d never carried a child to term . . . but I had aborted one.

Back when I was with Wesley, in the darkest of my days of abuse, I got pregnant. I was on birth control pills, just as I was on birth control when I got pregnant with Tevin’s child. What can I say? The method worked for the majority of the time with the handful of men that I had ever allowed to enter me without a condom. It’s true that women need to seriously consider the men they are sleeping with as father material, in case something happens.

We walked the rest of the way to my truck in silence. I used the key fob to unlock it, open the door, and tossed my purse onto the passenger seat.

I turned to give Tevin a hug. “I’ll see you at home.”

He gave me a half-hug back. “You never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“Do you understand what kind of man I am?”

“Yes, I do. I understand. I appreciate. I love you for it.”

“Then pick a date. A date for us to either go to the justice of the peace, plan a small backyard wedding, get married at a church, or a date to take off to an island or go to Vegas so that you can become Mrs. Tevin Harris.”

I needed a glass of wine but that wasn’t happening. I wouldn’t even touch a soda while I was pregnant, much less alcohol.

“Go back to the hospital. We’ll discuss it tonight.”

“Speaking of the hospital, Floyd’s been hiding out for the past couple of days.”

I played dumb. “Really? Maybe he’s just busy, or maybe he took a couple of days off.”

“No, he’s around. I hear them paging him and his car is in the lot. He’s the only doctor there with a Bentley. Every time they call him over the intercom, I’m hemmed up but I’m going to catch up to him sooner or later.”

I decided continuing to play dumb was my best bet.

“Oh, okay. Well, I’m sure he’s fine.”

“For now.”

Tevin had an angry expression on his face.

No more playing dumb!

I sighed and leaned against the back door. “Tevin, I asked Floyd not to mention my pregnancy to you. He never wanted to go along with it. In fact, he pleaded with me to tell you. I told him that I needed time to tell you in my own way. I didn’t want him delivering that kind of news when we weren’t even speaking.”

“Floyd is supposed to be my best friend,” he stated vehemently.

“And he is your best friend.” I ran my fingers over Tevin’s chest. “Think about it. If he’d told you and I wasn’t prepared to even face you, what would you have done?”