The Other Side of the Pillow

“You haven’t seen me undressed. As soon as I get it back together, I’m going to have to do some serious shopping for maternity clothes. Or borrow some of yours.”

“Yes, yes. My shit is fly. I’ll get some of it together and bring it over this weekend. I probably spent more on maternity clothes than my regular stuff.”

“Well, it’s hard to feel cute when you look like a whale. But I’m sure you have some awesome stuff. Would love to use some, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind.” She paused long enough to tell one of the kids to stop switching channels on the television remote. They were constantly fighting over the TV in the family room, even though all four of them had their own sets in their bedrooms. Sibling rivalry was more than just a passé term. “Tell you what. Why don’t we all have dinner together on Friday? If you don’t feel like going out, I can prepare something and bring it over.”

“I don’t want to put you out like that.”

“Put me out? Girl, I cook at least five days a week for a gaggle of kids. Making dinner for you and Tevin and getting a break is exciting. We can all catch up.”

When she said that, I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.

Say something, Jemistry!

I tried to be creative right quick.

Feel her out!

“Can I ask you a question, Courtney?” I readjusted myself on the sofa to lie on my left side. “About marriage.”

“Sure, shoot.”

“Tevin’s been married before but I haven’t. I realize it’s a huge commitment but what are the biggest differences between dating or living together and marriage? At least in your opinion.”

She giggled. “That’s a loaded question and it highly depends on the two people in the marriage, what their expectations are, and what kind of family background they had.”

“I keep forgetting that you were a psych major. You’re going deep.”

“Okay, I’ll try to tone it down.” She chuckled. “All I’m saying is that everyone has different outlooks on what it means to make a commitment. And there are different reasons people get married in the first place.

“Some consider marriage to be a business arrangement. Two people with like-minded goals agree to build a life together of the three Ps.”

“Three Ps?”

“Prosperity, procreation, and productivity.”

“Like I said, deep.”

“Others get married because they are so in love that they can’t imagine ever living without each other. They want to grow old together, change each other’s diapers and dentures, and be buried side by side.

“Then there are those who fall somewhere in the middle. Ones that get married because they believe it is expected of them, because all of their friends are doing it, and because they come from a situation where their parents have been married for decades.”

“I see.”

“Oh, and I cannot forget the females who get married just so they won’t be alone. Those kind want their men to be a different set of three Ps. They want a priest, a provider, and a protector on twenty-four-hour duty.”

“Yeah, I have quite a few friends who fall into that category. They are afraid to do anything by themselves.” I sighed. “But I have to add that when you start adding women into the mix who are abused, get pregnant young, and are economically at a disadvantage, that leads to a lot of other reasons.”

“True enough.”

Tevin Jr. kicked and I felt like the wind was being knocked out of me. I gasped.

“Are you okay, Jemistry?” Courtney asked in a panic.

“I’m fine. The little one kicked. Might be upset about those enchiladas I ate for lunch.”

“Yeah, those can cause some serious indigestion.”