The Monster (Boston Belles 3)

Sam’s hand moved slightly. He grabbed my wrist and tugged me to him, his eyes snapping open. He groaned in pain at the sudden movement and flashed me a canine scowl.

“No one is going to get over fucking anyone, Fitzpatrick. Now shut up and let me rest.”

Surprised, I stared at him with open delight. My ploy had worked. I pouted, leaning backward and giving him some space. His hold on my wrist tightened, but he was still so very weak.

“Let me rephrase … let me rest where I can see you, feel you, and smell you.”

“You asshole,” I hissed under my breath. “I thought you were going to die.”

“Yeah, I heard about the Grand Prix dick tour once I’m in a coffin. It’ll have to wait another few decades or so. Sorry.”

“I was just teasing to see if you were conscious. I thought I felt you move,” I explained, watching as his eyes shut again, his throat bobbing with a hard swallow.

“I know, sweetheart.” His tone turned soft, scratchy.

“Can I do anything for you?” I asked.

“Can you climb on top of me and ride me?”

“No.”

“Then you can’t do anything for me, Nix.”

“Everyone is waiting outside. They are worried sick.” I rubbed his uninjured arm. “I should go out and tell them you’re okay.”

He nodded then grunted again, realizing his mistake. Everything must’ve hurt, and I made a mental note to ask the nurses to up his morphine dose.

“But I’m not going to go out there until you promise me something,” I warned.

His eyes were still closed when he asked, “Yes?”

“You asked me to quit my job, and I did, even though I did so with a heavy heart, knowing I won’t be able to help so many people who are in pain. Now I’m asking you to bow out of the battle with the Bratva, Sam. No more bloodshed. No more. I don’t deserve to become a widow because of your pride. Give up Brookline. Turn your back on this side of the city. Troy never took it over for a reason. Promise me.”

“It is not in my nature to lose.”

“Yet sometimes—not often—you will. You have to lose Brookline or you’ll be losing me. This is an ultimatum, Sam. I will not be made a widow at twenty-eight.”

He opened his eyes, looking at me, surprised.

His voice dropped low. “Are you threatening me?”

“Yes,” I said simply.

I had to do this. For him. For myself. For his family and our future children. If he cared more about a piece of Boston than he did about me, marrying him was going to be a mistake. I felt oddly reassured by that simple logic. We held each other’s gaze, silent for a moment. His jaw ticked with annoyance.

“I can make this work,” he said. “I’ll talk to Vasily.”

“Give up Brookline.”

“I’ll get more security.”

I shook my head, standing up from the floor, wiping my cheeks clean of tears.

“I’m sorry, Sam, but it’s not enough. I’m not putting my heart in the hands of a man who won’t take care of it.”

“Goddammit, woman.” He turned his head sideways, closing his eyes, swallowing hard. “Fine. Fine.”

I knew how difficult it was for him to say this, to make this sacrifice. I leaned down and kissed his cheek softly.

“Thank you. I’ll go tell the others you are awake.”

Stepping backward and getting ready to leave, I turned around and heard his voice, sharp and cutting like glass.

“That’s what it feels like, doesn’t it?” he wondered, half in awe. “Love. I can’t believe I caught feelings like some fucking amateur. So many of them, too. This is deplorable.”

I grinned, glancing at him from behind my shoulder. He shook his head, scowling at the wall.

“Say that again,” I said.

“I’m a fucking amateur.”

“The love part.” I laughed.

He turned to glare at me.

“I love you, you little fool. I insisted on no prenup because I didn’t want you to run away, not because I cared about the money. It was never about the money. Even when I took the job with Gerald and Cillian, there was one thing I cared about, and it had nothing to do with power. I had that before I set foot in your house. I wanted to be close to you, even if I hated not being able to have you. I visited your father on a weekly basis. This thing was bigger than both of us, but we had a lot to lose.”

The idea that I wasn’t the only one who waited to catch glimpses of him made my heart stutter. I walked back to him, gently placing my hand on his cheek. He curled his fingers over my arm, looking up at me.

“I was close to blowing it all to shit, wasn’t I? You and me. The night you ran away into the woods. I could feel it.”