The Monster (Boston Belles 3)

“I’m sorry for your loss. And I know you don’t see it as a loss, I do, but I cannot find joy in knowing the woman who created you has passed away. Because at the end of the day—she gave me you. And I love you so very much, son.”

An unpleasant shudder ran through me. Sparrow wasn’t the emotional type, but she sure as shit had her biannual little speeches that made me want to vomit.

I hung up and pulled the shoebox Cat had stashed inside that hole, ripping it open.

The ice around my frozen heart cracked, just an inch.

Letters.

Two hours after finding the letters, I was still sitting on the floor, looking like Gulliver in a Barbie house—the junkie, whore edition—reading through them again and again and a-motherfucking-gain, digesting what I’d just learned.

Apparently, Catalina made Mrs. Masterson promise she’d make sure I’d find these letters, and she had a damn good reason for it.

My estranged mother wanted me to know her life story. At least a part of it. Question was—why?

Even as I read the letters for the hundredth time, I still couldn’t figure out if she wanted sympathy, revenge, or to give an explanation for her behavior.

All twenty-three letters were addressed to Gerald Fitzpatrick, then CEO of the oil company Royal Pipelines and the man I currently worked for on retainer as a fixer.

Coincidentally, he was also the father of Hunter Fitzpatrick, my sister Sailor’s husband, and Aisling Fitzpatrick, the woman I had fucked hours ago. I could still feel her sweet warmth wrapped around my cock whenever I thought about it. I pushed the memory away bitterly.

What I’d read in those letters changed the entire course of my life.

My dearest Gerald,

Thank you for bringing new hope into my life. For making me see that there is more than what I was left with after Brock passed away.

The word ‘mistress’ rings licentious and cheap, doesn’t it? It doesn’t do justice to what I am to you, my dear. To how I feel about you.

I know you’ll never leave Jane for me. I’m not stupid. I’ve learned to live with the burden of being the other woman. All I ask is for a part of your heart. It could be small. A fraction of what you gave to her.

Could you offer me a chunk of that organ that beats inside your chest?

Thank you for inspiring me to become a better person, a better mother, a better lover.

Yours forever,

—Cat.

My dearest Gerald,

We are having a baby! Can you believe it? I sure can’t.

I’m so excited. I know it wasn’t in your plan. Trust me when I say it wasn’t in mine, either. Not when Sam is practically a little boy. A pre-teen. Look, Gerald, I know you and I haven’t been together for very long, and here I thought the diaper-changing days were behind me, but I really think it’s a sign. I guess life has its way of showing us our paths.

I included our pregnancy test. Would you like to come with me to my first OB-GYN appointment? No pressure, but I would love that.

Oh, and by the way, I would absolutely adore it if you could bring me some prenatal vitamins from the store next time we see each other. Gotta keep the little one healthy and strong!

Yours forever,

—Cat.

Dear Gerald,

I did not appreciate it today when you breezed past me when I came to see you at your office. You may be done with me, that much you have made abundantly clear, but you are definitely NOT done with the baby growing inside of me. I am not getting rid of him (YES, HIM) for any price in the world, much less the amount you have offered me to have an abortion.

You can ignore me all you want. For weeks, for months, for eternity. At the end of the day, this baby is coming out of me, and it is yours. You are going to have to face this reality, one day or the other.

Call me back. You know my number.

Yours sometimes,

—Cat.

Gerald,

I want you to know I will never forgive you for what you did to me. To us.

You are a killer. A murderer. I had a son. Jacob. He was inside me. I was pregnant. He kicked and rolled and always moved in pleasure whenever he listened to his big bother’s voice.

He was your child.

I understand that this posed a complication to your perfect life. But it was still the one thing I looked forward to and made me push through my bleak life.

I also understand you own an oil company, that you already have heirs, that the battle over your will, when you die, is going to be a vicious one.

BUT HE WAS YOUR SON.

He was your son and you yanked him out of my body cruelly. You hit me. You threw me around. You pried him out of me. You beat me so badly, you left no room for doubt what was going to happen next.