My Eros (Modern Cupid and Psyche Dirty)

"I'm serious."

Nia's tone has me looking back at her, and I see my roommate rummaging through the drawers of her writing desk. "You've been looking really awful, lately, and...here."

She suddenly tosses something my way, and I nearly fall to the floor to catch it. My fingers uncurl, and I find myself staring straight into my reflection on a compact mirror.

Huh.

I can't remember the last time I've looked at myself in the mirror. I've stopped looking since that night in the music room, but of course there have been inevitable instances when reflective surfaces show me what I don't want to see.

Long blonde hair that's more wavy than curly. Eyes the color of smoke. And a face that's supposedly nicer than nice, but every time I look at it, all I can see is an endless stream of ugly memories staring back at me.

Just like how it does now...even though Nia also happens to be right.

I do look awful. And paler than usual, too.

"Well?" Nia's lilac gaze meets mine through the mirror.

"Lack of sleep, that's all. I've still loads to catch up on." I toss the mirror back to Nia, and she catches it easily with one hand.

"I keep forgetting you came here two weeks late," Nia admits. "Do you need help with anything?"

"Not just yet," I assure her. "But we'll see after prelims." I'm about to look away when I still notice Nia gazing at me. "What?"

"I've always wanted to ask you this," my roommate begins, "but I totally understand—-"

I've heard those words so many times before that I'm already nodding before Nia's finished speaking. "You want to know about that night."

"I'm sure you hated how the whole thing turned your life into a circus show," the other girl admits somewhat guiltily, "but we all found the whole thing fascinating in an appallingly ludicrous way."

Her choice of words catch my attention, and I swing my legs off the nook so I can face her fully. "Which part did you find appallingly ludicrous?" I ask with genuine interest. "The detectives who interviewed me were publicity-chasing assholes, but I've always thought the judge that handled my case did a good job—-" I break off at Nia's pained expression. "I'm guessing you beg to differ?"

"O ye of little knowledge." My roommate's tone is chiding as she shakes her head at me. "None of them did a good job, Hales."

"Everyone wanted me burning at the stake at the time," I remind her, "but the judge still declared I was innocent—-"

"Because of lack of evidence," Nia retorts with disdain, "when actually...there was plenty of evidence in your favor. They just didn't know what to look for."

I open my mouth to argue, but Nia quickly raises her hand, saying, "Just hear me out first. Have you never wondered why no one here even seems to care you were accused of mass murder?"

My face must've given something away because I see her expression subsequently turning triumphant. "You have, haven't you? And you know why that is?"

I'm about to tell her it's probably because everyone here has a wonky moral compass, but I don't get a chance since Nia's already talking.

"I've lived in Vermont my entire life, and although it's not really common knowledge, everyone in this state is used to living with gods among us. We can sniff out divine interference even from miles away, and your case? The whole thing stank of divine manipulation."

The other girl sounds so convinced she has me reluctantly looking back at that night and all the other horrific events that followed it. Gaslighting, doxxing, trolling - I've experienced every kind of online bullying there is, but what still hurts me to this day is remembering how my parents also suffered through no fault of their own.

A movement from Nia makes me look up, and I see my roommate now pacing back and forth, a pensive expression on her face. "Your case was like our favorite reality show here, and there were just so many things that were plain as day to us here that neither your lawyer nor the prosecution even cared to bring up. Like that girl who denied inviting you to her house in the first place - what if she wasn't really lying? Why did no one consider getting a blood sample to see if she has any traces of Lethe in her system? And what about the other girl? The one you pissed off because you dared to stand up to her? Why hasn't anyone thought of checking her background for divine connections? And then there were the victims! Why did no one even bother to ask how someone like you—-"

The words feel like an insult somehow, but with Nia sounding so riled, I decide to just let it go.

"—-could be capable of luring all of those people to one place and kill all of them at the same time and in the exact same way? I can just go on forever here, but..." The other girl throws her hands up in seeming disgust. "You get it now, right? How completely out of depth everyone in your city was to handle your case?"