Ryan's Bed

She was a little smaller than me. Her brown hair was pulled back into a messy bun with some fraying ends framing her face. Aqua eyes. A fair complexion under a smattering of freckles. She wasn’t beautiful in the heavy-makeup kind of way. She was pretty in a natural way.

She was kind, shy, and loyal. I never heard her say anything negative about her friends. The only person she’d been negative about was Erin, but that made sense. She was terrified of the girl.

There was no reason Kirk wouldn’t want to be with her.

“He’d be nuts not to want you,” I told her.

She fixed me with a dark look. “Come on.”

“I’m serious. I mean, I’m taking inventory. If he doesn’t want to date you, the only reason would be because he wants to keep fooling around with people who aren’t girlfriend material. Sorry, Cora, but you’re dating material. And he was interested. He asked me what was different with you today.”

“What’d you say?” She was so still.

I leaned against her neighbor’s locker. “I told him I didn’t know, but you seemed sexier to me. He agreed.”

Her mouth almost fell open and color splashed across her cheeks. “He did?”

“Yeah. He did.”

She ducked her head again, sneaking a look at him.

Ryan and Kirk were both watching us.

Kirk was staring at Cora like he’d never seen her before. Ryan watched me with the same expression. It took me a second to place it, because it was different. His eyes were locked on me, his mystified expression from before mixing with a look of approval. Then it hit me, and I almost fell back against the locker behind me.

I was the old me.

This was something I would’ve done.

I would’ve helped a friend who needed a pep talk. There might’ve been a guy I helped steer in the right direction, and I would’ve been at that friend’s locker talking to her about the guy. This was the real me. It felt good. I mean, it felt weird, but it felt right.

Ryan was seeing this side of me for the first time.

I pulled my gaze away and glanced down.

Willow was with me. I felt her, and I waited, expecting her to say something. She didn’t. She remained quiet, and I couldn’t help myself.

Really? I shot at her. You don’t say anything this time? And like she was really standing there, I heard a huff right before she turned and walked away.

She left me. I was struck speechless a second.

“You okay?”

Cora had shut her locker and had her bag over one shoulder. She was waiting for my response.

“Oh yeah.” I stood straight. “I’m good.”

My ghost of a sister left me, and I didn’t want her to go.

I’d gotten used to her haunting me.

“What was up with you and Cora today?”

I knew this question was coming, and I looked over to Ryan in the driver’s seat. He’d asked me where we were heading after school, and he hadn’t flinched one bit when I said, “My dad’s mistress’s house.” He hadn’t questioned how I knew her address.

I rested my head back against the headrest and smiled. I hadn’t needed a PowerPoint presentation to get him to be a stalker with me.

But I did need to answer his question. I gazed at him as we drove down the highway, the wind whipping his hair back.

How could I explain that I’d only said a few words to Cora, but it seemed to have helped? Or how much that meant to me for some stupid reason?

How could I tell him Willow had left me today, and I ached at her absence?

How could I—Dude, stop. Talk to him.

I almost grinned, hearing my sister’s voice again. It settled me.

“I don’t really know,” I said aloud.

Ryan frowned as he rolled up his window. The wind noise faded, and it seemed intimate in his truck. “What’d you say?”

I cleared my throat, sitting straighter in my seat. “I don’t really know. That’s what I said.”

“What does that mean?”

I shook my head a little. “She was telling me that I’m popular, and I told her to go jump off a cliff.” Same sentiment. Different words. I shrugged. “I’m miserable—” Ryan turned to look at me for a second. “Being popular isn’t worth it.”

He was still frowning, but he nodded as he went back to watching the road. Flicking on the turn signal, he merged into the passing lane, and we moved smoothly, seamlessly around a white car.

“Kirk thinks she’s hot,” he said. “Was that your doing?”

I turned to sit almost sideways, as much as my seatbelt allowed. “Cora used to like you until I came along. Is there a part of you that wishes she still did?”

I stared at him hard.

He threw me an annoyed look. “That’s what you got out of that?”

“You’re annoyed with me.”

“Annoyed?” He flashed me a cocky grin. “No, never annoyed. I’ve started to be able to read you and figure out where you’re going, but this thing with Cora threw me. That’s all. I’m not worried about Cora or Kirk. If Cora’s new confidence is attractive to him, I hope she keeps it up, and I hope he doesn’t hurt her. I’m more worried about you.”