Finding Our Way (Finding our Way 1)
“Nope”
“Why?”
“Because when your heart breaks, my heart breaks. And I saw your heart break yesterday at two-thirty pm. Watching the light die out of your eyes was one of the hardest things I’ve had to witness in your life. I’ve known for years how you feel about Bryce Randolph and even though your level of devotion worried me, I understood it. Part of me wishes you would have gotten over it through the last year, but you continued to live your life and become this beautiful young woman.”
“You don’t think I’m acting like a silly eighteen-year old love sick fool?”
“Well, yes, but that’s okay. You fell in love with an amazing young man. Bryce is one of the finest people I know. He’s noble and respectable. His decisions are selfless. He’s determined to serve his country with honor. And until yesterday, I’d never thought poorly of him. But when he walked into my house with that girl and killed the hope and longing you had, on one of the most important days of your life, I lost respect for him.”
I can’t control the sobs that rack my body.
“Mom, it hurts so much. Such a stupid thing to say but I’ve had a crush on him forever. He made me feel safe and special and one night, many years ago, I spilled my guts and told him I was crazy about him. Instead of embarrassing me, he told me he hoped I felt that way when I was eighteen. And I still do! Every other guy I have ever gone out with can’t compare to him.”
“Young love is devastating, Devon, and you never gave anyone else a chance. The reason I didn’t talk to you sooner is because I fell in love with your dad the first day of sophomore English. You’ve heard the stories of us being high school sweethearts. But it wasn’t always easy. Even with my own self-doubts throughout the years, I never stopped loving your dad. I saw the same love on your face the last few years when you looked at Bryce.”
“You don’t think I’m too young?”
“No, but now things have changed. I’m going to support and help you move on. Bryce was sad yesterday, it was obvious, but he’s going to do the right thing with that girl. It’s the kind of man he is. Will he be happy? I don’t know, but it’s my job to make sure you’re okay. Whatever it takes and however long.”
“I love you Mom.”
“Love you too, now let’s get some rest before we tackle getting you ready to leave for college. I thought I had seven weeks to get used to my baby leaving. It may be you consoling me soon.”
The next day we started a whirlwind of packing and shopping. My brother had a conniption when he learned what I had done, but when he saw the hurt on my face, he realized something was wrong.
Bryce tried several times to contact me, but I was able to avoid him. He took Holli back to UT campus and started his own summer semester.
Since my departure was so rushed, we did a small dinner with Quinn’s family as our going away party. At the last minute, the Randolph’s found out and insisted on coming. They were so wrapped up in the news they were going to be grandparents, they didn’t ever ask me about my change in plans.
Three weeks to the day after graduation, I drove away from Nashville with a new outlook on life. My heart was broken, but for the first time, I was focused only on me. There was no longer the possibility of a Devon and Bryce. And I vowed to never be a lovesick fool again. Young love or not, it hurt like hell.
“Hello! Earth to Devon?” Quinn waves her hand in front of my face, bringing me out of my trance. “Where’d you go?”
“I was just thinking about us moving here.”
“Best decision we ever made.”
“Yep. I think so too.”
“Our paper is due next week for World Journalism, do you want to head to D.C. this weekend and see if we can catch a protest or something?”
“Yeah, actually that sounds great. I’ll bring the camera.”
“I hate it that you’re a double threat. Besides journalism, your photography skills will get you into the Master’s of Fine Arts Program with no problems.”
“We’ll get in together, just like we do everything else.”
When we get to the building, we head to our separate lectu
res. The small group I always sit with saved me a seat and I smile greeting everyone. It’s a running joke among my peers that Quinn and I are the babies. Since we both graduated with AP credits and came straight to summer school, we’ve always been the youngest in our classes. Technically we’re both juniors.
My pocket vibrates with an incoming message and I almost drop it when I see whom it’s from.
Bryce’s name appears with a single sentence:
We need to talk
Staring at the screen, it seems like a good idea to ignore him. But in the back of my head I think about my ‘Getting over Bryce Randolph’ program and the steps involved. I created this personal program the first summer at UVA. It was three weeks after moving here and Quinn finally convinced me to get my head out of my ass. We started meeting new people. Then I gradually started dating. We both made the cheerleading team, which helped keep our social lives busy.