Surrendering (Surrender 1)

“You know, it’s been hard enough trying to get past the Christie thing. Finn still isn’t the same and Declan went off the deep end. I was trying my best to move forward and go back to being normal. Then when he told me he was encouraged to do this by the people I thought were my friends, I was devastated.”

I finish packing my bag. They sit with me and try to lighten the mood, but there’s a dark cloud in the room. I hug them both and promise to call when I get there.

I haven’t told Declan I’m leaving so I drive to his house to say good-bye. Jay and Cooper are on the front porch when I arrive so I back out and keep driving. Fuck them! My phone starts ringing, but I ignore it. I don’t stop until I get into Georgia. I send a quick text to Declan letting him know that I’ll be back in a week. My phone immediately buzzes back, but I turn it off.

When I get to Kendall, Harper, and Charlie’s apartment, they’re all there waiting on me. Each of them has received a call from Declan. Declan demanded to know where they lived, but they refused to tell him. They know what happened and they’re the only ones, besides my parents, that know my summer plans.

Kendall’s phone rings and she says it’s Finn calling. She answers it and hands the phone to me after saying hi to him.

“Hey.”

“Baby Girl, you wanna tell me why Declan is blowing up my phone and demanding that I trace your phone to find out where you are?”

“My life sucks?”

“So should I give him that information?”

“No, just tell him I’m fine. I’ll call him tomorrow.”

“What’s going on now?” He sounds concerned. My Finn is always worried about me and my fucking problems.

Instead of hiding the situation from him, I tell him everything. He listens to me while I cry through the story and then I tell him about my plans to leave after the Bonnaroo show. Even though it’s going to rip my heart out, I’m going to the show. My dad’s made arrangements to get me in and out with transportation going directly to the airport. This could go two different ways.

One, Declan decides this crazy idea is bullshit and tells the band, Jay, and the Marketing team to fuck off. He claims me publicly and I spend seven weeks in Europe as an engaged woman. Or two, he sticks with his plan and I spend seven weeks in Europe nursing a broken engagement. The ball’s in his court.

Finn listens through the whole story quietly. When I’m done, he tells me he’ll meet us in Atlanta at the end of the week and help drive Charlie’s U-Haul to her parents. Charlie jumps on the phone to thank him and we hang up.

It’s Saturday night and we decide to go to our favorite neighborhood bar. I spoke to my parents earlier to let them know I was safe and that I haven’t turned my phone back on. Abbi calls Harper several times, trying to gauge my mood. Harper finally gets irritated enough to tell her we’re getting drunk and to quit calling. The bartender knows us well and keeps the drinks coming all night. Kendall has to help me get ready for bed when we got home and I pass out immediately.

*****

The next few days were uneventful. It was great to get away from all the drama I left behind in Nashville. I finally call Declan on Wednesday night. Nate answers his phone and it sounds like they’re at a party.

“May I speak to Declan?”

“Yeah, who’s this?” He must not have looked at the caller ID when he answered.

“Nate, it’s Raven. Where’s Declan?”

“Holy shit.” There are muffled sounds and I swear I hear a girl’s voice beside the phone. “Raven, please talk to me.”

“Nate, I have nothing to say to you. Where’s Declan?”

“He’ll be right here.”

“If he’s too busy to take my calls, just tell him I called.” I hang up sick. Charlie texts Blake to see what’s going on and if he’s with Nate and Declan.

Blake responds and tells us Jay planned a gathering at The Steamroom. Abbi sends me a message that when she and Jimi showed up, Declan was practically passed out on the couch. They took him home when he started babbling incoherently.

By Friday, Charlie’s almost all packed so we spend some time lounging by the pool. Finn arrives in the early afternoon and surprises me by bringing Abbi and Jimi along. We spend the rest of the day packing the U-Haul with all of Charlie’s stuff. Then we head to The Highlands for dinner.

When we return to the girls’ apartment, all of us are exhausted. There’s one less bed than normal since we loaded Charlie’s furniture. Kendall gives Abbi and Jimi her room and sleeps with Harper. Finn, Charlie, and I take the living room. Charlie claims the sofa by falling asleep first, so I set up a pallet for Finn and me. Finn surprises me by pulling me close to him and holding me tight. He’s giving me his support without saying any words and I sob into his chest. He’s been so distant since my kidnapping and I realize in this moment how much I’ve missed him. I really want to talk about why he’s been keeping his distance, but now is not the time. I let him hold me.

We head back to Nashville the next morning. Originally, Charlie was going to try to drive the U-Haul, but we realized quickly that Finn was the better choice for driving it. After unloading her stuff in her parents’ garage and saying good-bye to Charlie, we leave to go home. Finn promises to call me tomorrow and Jimi and him take off. Abbi rides home with me.

Declan’s truck is in our driveway when we arrive home and I reluctantly pull in. I find him waiting for me in my room. I don’t even look at him as I start to unpack.

“Are you even going to speak to me?”