Surrendering (Surrender 1)

“Pardon?” I whisper.

“When you attacked me after the show? What was that? Was that for me or for them? Were you jealous? Were you trying to make your point or…”

I don’t let him finish. “That was for you- for me- for us. The show was great. Jay looked happy; you looked happy. I was so excited and I got swept up in the moment. For those few minutes, it was just the two of us and I wanted you to know how happy and proud I was of you. To me, there was no one else in the room. I wasn’t jealous because I have nothing to be jealous of.”

His features soften and he pulls me in. “Raven, you will never have anything to be jealous of. To me, you really were the only girl in the room.” He kisses my temple lightly and runs his nose through my hair. “You smell so good. It reminds me of honeysuckle and peaches.”

I wrap my arms around him. I want him tonight and hopefully he’ll agree. As I push us towards the bed and he stops me.

“Let me take a quick shower.” He lets me go and heads toward the bathroom. I guess he didn’t get my hint.

When the shower turns on, I get my bag and run to the second bathroom. I don’t have much time. I quickly get ready for bed and change into my baby doll nightie. I rush back and light a few of the tea light candles I stashed in my bag. I turn off the main lights and a light glow covers the room. I hear him finishing up and wait by the bedroom door for him to come out.

He opens the door and I start to get nervous. Maybe this is a silly idea. I have no clue what I’m doing. When our eyes finally meet, I see approval. He makes it to me in a few short steps. He doesn’t say anything but kisses me until my body is overheated. Declan lays me down on the bed and lies partly on top of me. His hands roam over the beads on the fabric of my nightie. When he reaches my boy shorts, he groans in my mouth. He’s hard against my hip and I run my fingers over him trying to get inside his shorts. I want him to take me. I want to feel him in me.

I get his shorts halfway down and he rips them the rest of the way off. I trace the tattoos on his chest and I remember the night in my room when I felt his apa for the first time. Now I can’t wait to know why he got it.

He rolls me on top of him and lifts the nightie over my head, then rolls me back under him. He looks at me with pure, raw desire as he runs his hands up and down my sides. His fingers hook to the sides of my shorts and he brings them down my legs and off my body. I try to control my breathing as he gazes at my naked body.

“You are so beautiful.”

I pull his shoulders and try to lower him back down to me, but he stops me.

“Raven, we don’t have to do this. We can wait.”

“I don’t want to wait anymore. I want you.”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“More sure than anything in my life. Please.” My eyes fill with tears because I fear he’ll say no and I sound pathetic.

“Baby, why are you crying?”

“Because I’m not sure you want me. I’m starting to get the feeling this isn’t what you want.”

“Oh, my beautiful girl, I’ve wanted you since the day I ran you over in the park. You have no idea how much I want you. I want everything from you emotionally and physically. I told you earlier, I can’t get you out of my mind.”

“And I told you the feeling was mutual.”

“I’m not sure you understand the depth of my feelings. I’ve never felt this way before and I’m scared shitless.”

“Would it scare you even more shitless if I told you I’m in love with you?”

A huge grin spreads across his face and his eyes light up with a twinkle. “No, babe, it wouldn’t scare me. If you told me you were in love with me, I would tell you the feeling is mutual and it’s about time you caught up.”

He lowered his head and took my mouth with tenderness. His fingers slide into me, one and then two. He moves his thumb over my clit. He whispers the words “fucking soaked” into my mouth, but I continue kissing him. I move my hips in rhythm with his fingers and feel myself getting close. I pull my mouth away from his to catch my breath.

“Sweetheart, I’m going to come.”

“I know, baby, let go.”

He adds another finger and I don’t hold out anymore. I scream his name as the orgasm washes over my entire body. I barely feel him move, but I hear his nightstand open and the sound of foil ripping. When I can finally see straight, I see him rolling a condom down his enormous shaft. I wonder again if he’s going to fit, but I

push the thought away.

He gets back on top of me and I wrap my legs around his hips. He stalls against my entrance, the barbell teasing the sensitive flesh.

“Sparkle, I need you to look at me. I need to see your face.” His voice is tender. I look up and his green eyes pierce through me. The expression on his face mirrors the same way I feel.