Surviving (Surrender 2)

We agree to come back on our next Friday off in hopes the crowd will be lighter. When we exit, Finn hails a car and gives him an address in French I don’t recognize. We pull up to a shady park area filled with people. I loop my arm through his and let him lead the way through the trail. When we get to the center area there is a beautiful wall, or mural of sorts. I try to read what is says, but I don’t recognize most of the languages. Letting go of Finn’s arm, I walk up and try and find a language I recognize.

“Isn’t it incredible?” he asks softly behind me. Even though there are people all around, it’s very quiet and intimate. Almost like everyone is respecting each other in front of this creation. I see several people kissing and holding one another and look away.

“Yes, for some reason, it’s l like I’m in a trance right here, there’s so much passion. Do you feel it?”

Finn stares at me with an intensity and wraps his arms around my waist. “Baby Girl, I feel it. This is Le Mur des Je t’aime, also known around the world as the Wall of I Love You’s. The words I love you are written more than a thousand times in three hundred languages.”

“Wow, that’s beautiful.”

“Almost as beautiful as you.” He pulls me closer and whispers against my lips. Instead of backing away, I melt into him.

“Wha–”

“I brought you here for a reason. I brought you here so I could tell you I love you. Not the ‘best friend’ kind of love, but the heart-aching, all-encompassing love.”

“Wha–“

“Shhh, let me finish. I know this is a surprise to you. Hell, it was a surprise to me. But when you went missing last February, I lost my shit. I didn’t know what I would do if anything happened to you. Then all that happened with Declan and I tried to stay away. But I figured I’d never know what could happen unless I tried. I love you, Ravenel James Hayes.”

Tears roll down my cheeks, and I’m trying to hold back the sob building in my chest. “I love you too, but I was engaged less than three weeks ago. I’m not sure–”

“Raven, I’m aware of everything I have stacked against me. You are worth the fight. Give me a chance to prove to you that maybe I’m worthy of you.”

“Worthy of me? You’re too good for me! You’re practically perfect. I’m broken.”

“You’re beautiful, smart, kind, and caring. You don’t seem broken to me, but if you feel there are pieces cracked, let me fix them.” He runs his thumbs across my cheeks wiping the tears.

He’s still holding me tight against him and my body reacts. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and stare into his beautiful blue eyes. They are full of emotion, and I know he’s waiting on me to say something. But instead I lift up and brush my lips against his. He returns the kiss softly not asking for more. When I part my lips, he slips his tongue through and finds mine instantly. He turns my head, so he can massage the back of my neck and kisses me with slow passion and sensitivity. Warmth fills me, and I deepen our embrace.

I’m not sure how long we stand there kissing, but when we pull back he places light pecks around my mouth before looking into my eyes.

People are still mulling around us like we don’t even exist. I gather my thoughts enough to step back and pull my camera out of my bag. I ask someone to take our picture and lean into him. After a few shots, I turn and walk to the wall to admire its beauty. Finn stands back and watches me with a grin on his face. My mind is racing with what just happened, but for some reason, I feel peace.

We walk around the square some more until Finn tells me he has one more surprise for the day. Honestly? I’m not sure I can take another surprise. I’m still reeling from the ‘I love you’ declaration.

We hop in another car, and I try to get him to tell me where we are going. He keeps saying I’ll see soon. A few minutes later I see the unmistakable iron tower in view.

“We’re going to the Eiffel Tower?”

“Yeah, Baby Girl, we’re going to try and make the sunset. I need to buy us some tickets to take the lift.”

“Um, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.” I get queasy.

“I’ll be with you, it’ll be fine.”

“But, Finn, that’s really high, I’m not sure–”

“It’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll hold you the whole time.” He interrupts.

We pull up in the front and he helps me out of the car. I take pictures while he buys our tickets. When he gets back, he tells me we have an hour before our scheduled time, so we walk around the tower. We walk the first two stories and admire the views of the city. When our time comes to take the lift, my stomach knots again. I’ve never been good with heights.

True to his word, Finn holds me close. When we get to the top, the sun is setting. It is truly the most magnificent thing I have ever seen. The lights of the city glow below us as far as I can see. I lean back on Finn when he wraps his arms around my waist.

“Raven, I know my timing sucks. I’m not stupid enough to think that Declan is going to disappear from your heart. But I’m going to show you what my love is. I’m going to be cautious enough for both of us. You’re fragile right now, and I’m first and foremost your friend. I’ll always be here for you. But I couldn’t go another day without telling you how I feel.

“Your happiness is the most important. Even if it’s not with me. I want to take these next few weeks slow and see how it plays out. But no matter what, Paris is ours.”

I turn in his arms and stare into his eyes, “I’m not sure what to say. You know Declan was my first everything. I’m not sure how to move forward.”