Trixsters Anonymous

Prologue

Emi

“You fucking JERK! How could you do this to me?” Maren screams, the sound bouncing off her walls and ricocheting around the room.

“Baby, don’t be like that. She was nothing to me. It was a mishap,” Carlton, otherwise known as the douche-tool, limp-dick, ass-mongling, dickhead, pleads his case in his cocky, slimy, smarmy tone, making me want to scratch his eyes out.

I try to peek through the slats of Maren’s pantry door to see his face, but his back is facing me.

“Mishap! You call fucking your father’s secretary for the last few months a MISHAP?”

“Sweetie, it was a lapse in judgment. She kept coming after me and caught me when I was vulnerable. I regret it immensely. You know I love you. We’re getting married. Don’t let this ruin us. Think of all the wonderful memories we’ve built.”

I wait, barely able to make out Maren’s chest heaving as she takes a few deep breaths. She squeezes her fist tight and props it on her hip as a sign to me that she’s ready.

Here we go!

“Wonderful memories? You call years of being the town dumbass a wonderful memory? I didn’t want to believe it, but the signs were there, so I decided it was time to smarten up. You know what I discovered? I discovered that my loving and caring fiancé has the most generous dick in the city, spreading the joy around to anyone who would take it.”

His body stiffens, turning slightly so I can finally see his profile.

He’s dressed in his high dollar business suit, looking every bit the pretentious asshole he is. Cufflinks shine with his initials, as does a tie pin with a matching monogram. His uptight attitude starts to waver as he stares, eyes narrowed, at my best friend. It’s apparent when realization starts to sink in. He shifts uncomfortably, then steps closer, closing in on her. She shoots him an evil glare and side steps.

I lean in, holding my breath to watch the rest of the show unfold. So far, Maren has stuck to our plan, standing strong and not backing down. After Saturday’s discovery, she is ready to slay him.

“Oh, yeah, Carl. I know about them all.”

I fist pump in the air with a silent HELL YEAH at the use of the name Carl. He hates it worse than having mud on his precious Jaguar.

“Your daddy’s secretary isn’t the only one I know about. My Pilates instructor, your weekly masseuse, the pharmacist at CVS, the nurse who helps your grandma, and let’s not forget the young, starry-eyed server at your parents’ party last Saturday. Do you really think I didn’t see you disappear in Miss Ware’s bedroom with that girl? Poor woman has no idea that, while she was working her ass off to make sure your dad’s birthday was perfect, you were getting a blowjob in her room!!!”

I cringe at the memory of being stuck in the closet that night. I witnessed him flirting with her all evening and then quietly telling her to meet him in the housekeeper’s room after the champagne toast. I snuck in and waited, knowing Maren was already through with him, but this was an insurance policy. She would now have leverage if there were any backlash with his family and friends. I have to hand it to him—he’s sly, and there was no telling how he’d spin their breakup.

So, I was stuck in the closet snapping pictures as he convinced that girl to drop to her knees. The image replays in my head, and I fight back a gag. Watching Carlton in action as she tried to deep throat him was gross. He just doesn’t have the equipment.

“What the fuck?” he hisses, crossing his arms defensively. “You want to go there, Maren? I haven’t had a blowjob from you in forever. She was dying for it. As a matter of fact, you haven’t given me any kind of sex for months. This idea we needed to wait until we are married came out of left field. What’d you expect me to do when you cut me off cold turkey? I have needs, and you aren’t there to fulfill them, so take the hit. This is your fault.”

Wait for it… wait for it…

He’s so smug and proud of himself, he never sees her hand coming. The sound of the slap cuts through the air, and his head jerks to the side where I get a full-on view of his shock.

Satisfaction and pride surge through me as a wicked grin crosses her lips and her eyes start to gleam.

“You bitch!”

“I’m not taking the blame for this one. You want to know why I put a moratorium on our sex life? This is a big city, but a small town. Your little tryst with the secretary gave you syphilis. You may have wanted to be discreet, but I found the antibiotics in your car.”

He pales, understanding washing over his face. Tears start to prickle, and my throat tingles as I try to hold in my laugh.

“It didn’t take long for word to spread. Why do you think you’ve been cut off by everyone, except, of course, the one woman who already had a venereal disease?”

“Are you done? You’ve had your childish fit and made your point. The secretary is history. Say the word, and she’s gone.”

“Nope, I’m not even close to being done. By the time I get through with you, you’ll have to travel three counties to get laid, not to mention the wreckage in your path. What’s your mom going to do when I blow the lid off the biggest wedding of the year?”

He rubs his cheek where the red mark from her palm is still glowing, but instead of taking his lick, he decides to get cocky. “Maren, stop being so rebellious. I may have had some fun on the side, but even you aren’t going to let that stop you from marrying me. I’m the best thing that’s happened to you. What will you do without me?”

I was afraid of this. He’s a master at tearing down her self-confidence, but hopefully, my days of coaching her will pull through and she can remain strong.

“What I’ll do without you is exactly what I should have been doing all along. Exactly what I want. Being a socialite wasn’t my cup of tea; it was yours. Now, I’m free to be myself and not live under a cloud of judgment. As of this second, you are no lon

ger in my life. Get out!”

She points toward the door, jerking her head as he stands there with a genuine look of surprise. My Maren is kicking his ass to the curb—with style.

“You’re going to regret this, Maren.” He steps closer, but she throws her hand in his face and motions toward the door again.

He stomps out, and we both remain quiet until her front door slams. I stay crouched until his car engine roars out of the parking lot and then tumble out, ready for her to rush to me.

Instead, she stands in place, staring at me with an unreadable expression. My stomach coils, wondering if she’s finally going to have the breakdown I’ve been expecting.

She doesn’t burst into tears. She breaks out dancing. Her arms fly in the air, and she twirls in place while screaming, “We did it! The douche-dick is history!”

I join in, breaking into song and dancing until we’re out of breath. I don’t question her sanity because this is the happiest I’ve seen her in the four years since she met that shithead and he tried to groom her for high society.

A sparkle on her finger flashes, and I catch her hand, eyeing this ostentatious ring she’s worn for eighteen months.

“You didn’t give it back,” I state.

“Nope, and I’m not going to. Carlton Breen owes me, and he’s given me the best going away present ever.” She giggles.

“What?”

“He’s given me a down payment on our new business. This ring is going to ensure the start-up of the next step in our lives.”

I stop moving mid-hip swing and raise my eyebrows. “Mare, you’ve lost me.”

“Even though it sucked, this has been so much fun.”

“Fun?”