Trixsters Anonymous
That only seems fair.
Technically, I can’t blame it all on her, but it’s a lot easier.
I toss my shoes in my bag and pick up my phone, preparing for the call I’ve been dreading. How does a twenty-seven year old woman tell her boyfriend that she’s been summoned to her parents’ house for the rest of the weekend? I press send and try to think of exactly how to explain.
“Emerson?” There’s an intensity to his tone I’ve only heard a few times before.
“I’m sorry to bother you. I know you’re busy.”
“You’re never a bother.”
“Well, I have some bad news.”
“Hold on.” There’s a muffled sound and then footsteps. “What’s wrong?” His voice is now on alert.
“Nina is wrong, but it’s too late now.”
“What?”
“Nina told her mom about us, then she forwarded the picture from the other night at the bar.”
“So?”
“It set off a chain reaction. My mom saw it and called this morning after you left for work. I’ve been given the largest guilt trip known to man, and now, I’m going to my parents’ house for the rest of the weekend.”
“I’m not following.”
“My mom saw the picture and was very inquisitive. Then she recognized your name from the paper and the gambling bust, so she knows
you’re a detective. Instead of letting me explain over the phone, I’ve been summoned over to my parents’ house.”
“Is this a bad thing?”
“Depends on your definition of bad. I’ll get there, then she and Dad will hem-haw around the subject of us for about a Nano-second until they have your entire life history. Then Mom will have her friends over for drinks, each of them wanting to know all about us. I’ll be in the hot seat. Before the end of the night, the conversation of my prayer circle will be mentioned at least ten times. Since you’re a detective, they’ll ponder over my life history and bad decisions, wondering if you’ll stick around. After a night of that excitement, we’ll go to church in the morning, so Mom can make a spectacle of praying for me in front of everyone.”
He starts laughing, the deep rumble calming me a little. “Babe, are you being dramatic?”
“No! Seriously, you just wait.”
“So, you’re not going to be at my place when I get home?”
“That’s what you’re asking? Did you hear the part about these ladies wondering if you’ll stick around?”
“They don’t even know me. That’s a huge assumption on their part.”
“They know me; that’s why it’s so much worse.”
“Calm down. It’ll be fine.”
“Can I come down to the station with you? Maybe you can arrest me, so I have a valid excuse.”
“Getting arrested is better than telling your parents about us?”
Him saying it out loud makes it sound ridiculous. “You have a point.”
“When are you leaving?”
“In a few minutes.”