Nice Buns (Cheap Thrills 7)

Losing patience, Roque snapped, “Will one of you just tell me what the hell is wrong with black grapes?”

“Son, that poor boy has black grapes,” Walton said, his tone hopeful that it’d explain it all without him having to elaborate more.

Roque spun around in a circle, checking the vicinity for them. “Where? Are they in the refrigerator?”

“No, Roque,” Walton sighed, “they’re between his damn legs. The poor kid’s got to be bruised to all hell and back, like when you fell off the seat of your bike and hit the metal frame. You had black balls for at least a week after it, right?”

Me and DB both groaned and shifted at the thought of that happening, while Roque blushed and glared at the screen.

“Well, change that to surgery on the area and people poking around. That poor child’s grapes are black, and there you are, buying him grapes the same color and rubbing it in. It was a dumb move.”

Squinting at the screen, Roque growled, “We couldn’t have given the explanation without going back through memory town? It was a damn accident. The landscaping company hadn’t done the grass on that field behind the house in months, so how was I to know there was a big rock in it?”

“Because the rock had been there for years, honey,” Maeve told him. “Aw, remember how you wouldn’t let us call you Roque for weeks because you didn’t want to be reminded about it. We had to call you—”

“Now’s a good time to shut up!” Roque clipped. “Fine, I messed up, and the poor kid’s going to be munching on something that matches his nuts. Congrats to him.”

Thrusting the phone back to his sister, he glared at us as he took the grapes through to the kitchen. As Maeve signed off and Cody reassured his grandparents he was okay, we heard Roque slamming things around in the kitchen.

Twisting so I could lay Sheena out on the couch beside Cody, I asked, “Do you mind if I bring Bernice over? Now that Cody’s settled, it’ll be okay. I was just worried about her knocking him after we first got back here. She can be—” I searched for the right word.

“A big mother hen,” Tabby supplied, explaining it perfectly. “She’s a beautiful dog, but she tends to forget her species and cluck around people when they’re hurt or not well. Sheena bumped her head on the wall a few weeks ago and started crying. When I got to her, Bernice had already herded her into her bed and was curled around her protectively.”

Cody’s eyes lit up, and Evie looked like it was the most precious information ever. “That’s adorable. Razzle and Rocket would probably have howled with her.”

I didn’t doubt that for one second. I’d heard them doing it a couple of times, especially when Naomi and Heidi brought their kids over.

By the time I got back with Bernice, Evie’s girls had arrived with get well soon balloons.

And one looked like a penis.

Seeing where I was staring, Jacinda snapped, “It’s a wiener.”

At least I wasn’t wrong. “I can see that.”

“No, not that kind of wiener. A sausage.”

I blinked and glanced at DB for help. But, unfortunately, he just shrugged and shook his head, telling me he couldn’t provide any.

Fucking awesome.

“Why’d you get him a sausage?”

“Because three months from today, it’s National Hot Dog day. I figured we’d start the celebrations early with a wiener balloon.”

She was reaching, and it was obvious.

“She’s lying,” Sayla said, telling me something I already knew. “She was trying to be funny when she ordered it, but then the dumbass decided she didn’t want to come off as being insensitive, so Jacinda looked up whether there was a national wiener day she could blame it on.

“Turns out, there is—on July twenty-third.” Jesus Christ, they gave anything a national day nowadays. “And, as today is April twenty-third….”

Jacinda glared at the ceiling while we all stared at the wiener balloon that Bernice was now looking up at and licking her lips.

“Bernice,” I warned in a deep voice.

Giving me a dismissive look, she walked over to Cody and Sheena and whined as she lay her head on his leg.

I was just about to say, ‘I told you so,’ when DB’s phone beeped.

“Damn, Dad, that’s Carter about the case you’re working on. He says Mrs. Bane’s remembered something and wants to discuss it with y’all.”

Looking down at my black t-shirt and blue jeans and then over to my dog, I made a choice.

“I’ll go out of uniform but with my vest on. Cody, can you keep an eye on Bernice for me? She hates leaving sick people on their own and will probably tear my house up if I leave her alone in it now she knows you’re not well.”

“Sure thing. Jacinda and Sayla have a video to do with Mom tonight anyway, so I’ll just take my new game and stuff into my room with the dogs.”