Nice Buns (Cheap Thrills 7)

Rubbing her hand down her thigh, Sayla nodded. “I agree, but I’m struggling with the weird texture of them. I feel like bees are going to try and build a hive on me if I go out in them. What if I dropped crumbs? They’d get stuck in the little holes.”

“What about the stretch of them?” Jacinda asked, starting to squat. “Can you do the slut drop without feeling like you’re going to have issues?”

All three of them started dropping and popping up, repeating the move about five times.

The video stopped, and I hit on part two.

“Yup, slut drop friendly leggings,” Evie snickered. “Can you see what color my underwear is through the material? I hate it when that happens. You know when you put leggings on, and they go slightly transparent?”

“I used to think that was due to the size being wrong and me using a hopeful brain instead of a realistic one about how fat my ass and thighs are, but a lot of the time, it’s just the material being too thin. It even happens with some of the best brands,” Jacinda nodded, pouring out more wine. “For any viewers who want to say something about the fact we have wine—don’t. Girls’ night is the best, and if we want to have a glass of wine, we can.”

“You know, I don’t feel too hot in these.” Sayla stuck her leg out and examined it. “I really just can’t fall in love with the texture, though. I feel like a sea creature.”

“In that color, you’d fit in,” Evie snorted with a wink.

The woman glared at her friend, but then it turned into a smirk.

“After we’ve finished our wine, we’ll put them through the ultimate endurance test.”

Part three was where it became more interesting.

“Oh shit,” Evie squealed as she ran. “Bob Ross, cut it out. No, these aren’t chicken friendly. He seems more pissy than normal.”

The camera was shaking as Sayla ran in front of her, the sound of her trying to laugh at the same time punctuating each shake of the video.

“Run, bitch, run!” yelled Jacinda from somewhere in the distance.

The view of the video changed to show nothing but a dark yard, and then Evie shrieked. “I can’t do this.”

Somehow, they’d edited the video in their slightly intoxicated state to another camera angle that showed Sayla running toward the back door. At the same time, Evie cut across her yard to the fence separating hers from Ross’s.

Almost like she was a pro at it, she jumped and hurdled the dividing fence, only just escaping the chicken as he jumped to peck at her feet.

Video four.

“Well, I have an update on the leggings,” Evie said as she stood back in a row with the ladies in her living room.

Then, taking a mouthful of her wine, she glared at the camera. “See, you saw me escaping into my neighbor’s yard to get away from the chicken. Once Bob Ross decided he was over the idea of killing me, he went to bed, and my neighbor offered to help me get back over into my yard.”

“He’s nice like that,” Jacinda winked.

Making a twirling motion with her finger, Sayla started giggling. “Turn and show them what happened.”

Spinning, so the camera showed her back, Evie looked over her shoulder. “You won’t be able to see it while I’m standing up like this, but if I do this”—she bent over, revealing a split from the crotch up to mid ass in the leggings—“you can see my problem. Wanna tell me what color underwear I have on right now?”

Hot pink. And it was only slightly bigger than a thong would have been. Motherfucker!

“Yeah, the seam split when I jumped over the fence. That wouldn’t be so bad, but the way my ass was pointing when my neighbor helped me back over it, he had this front and center in his vision.

“I panicked when I heard another tearing noise, but he assured me it was only ripping higher up than it’d been until that moment.” Then, straightening, she spun back around.

“Yeah, thanks to the whole ‘TikTok made me buy it’ thing, I’ve flashed my ass crack and vagina to my son’s principal.”

Both Sayla and Jacinda burst out laughing. One fell down onto her ass, and the other bent at the waist to hold her side. Somehow, the moment that both of the seams on their own leggings ripped had been amplified over the laughter, so the viewers knew theirs had suffered the same fate as Evie’s.

I hadn’t expected to laugh as hard as I did watching it, and when I sent it to Tabby to enjoy, she messaged back almost immediately.

Tabby: Dave’s still trying to drink his coffee. He watched it before me and hasn’t stopped laughing. Those women slay me!

My son’s text came through just as I was about to get into the shower.