Primals (Reverse Harem 1)

After they both leave, I watch over Clarissa, a pang in my heart.

I meant what I said. I’m never leaving her. She may not be entirely human. She might have been ‘created’ to be a broodmare, but she is my best friend.

And I love her.

Which is why I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she’s safe and well, even if that means letting others protect her.

And when all this is over, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she’s happy again.

Even if that means letting someone else have her.

I stroke her cheek as a tear trickles down mine.

“I’d do anything for you, Clarissa.”

Chapter Nineteen

~ Toshi

NOTHING.

I’ve been patrolling the perimeter of Kyle’s lakeside property for the past few hours and I haven’t seen any sign of any intruders, or even any unusual activity for that matter.

The surface of the lake lies still like a sheet of glass, glistening under the moonlight. Around it, the leaves of the trees rustle each time the breeze blows, the chirping of insects and the howling of a wolf in the distant mountains adding to the evening orchestra.

All clear.

I glance back at the house, picking up the sound of Kyle’s even breathing. He’s asleep. I hear Sebastian, too, his bare feet scuffling across the wooden floor in front of the crackling fire. He’s pacing the room. Restless. Anxious. I know the feeling well.

And Clarissa?

Nothing from her, which lets me think that she’s still staring into space. Honestly, I’m not sure if that’s better than crying.

I decide to check on her just to make sure she’s okay, popping into her room through the open window.

As I perch on the sill, I find her sitting on the floor beside her bed, her knees pressed to her chest and her chin between them.

I think of leaving her alone but I can’t. Not anymore.

“Hey.” I scratch the back of my neck, suddenly awkward and unsure. Maybe she doesn’t want me. “Mind if I join you?”

She doesn’t answer, not even turning her head to look at me, as if she didn’t hear me at all.

I sigh but take her silence as a yes, sitting beside her. She doesn’t move away or push me away so at least, it wasn’t a no.

“I’m not going to say I know it’s hard,” I start. “I’ve always known who I was, I was born this way and still, there were times I cursed this existence and found it hard to accept. I know, I know. It’s cool to live so long and do extraordinary things but not really when most of the people you share the planet with aren’t like that. I don’t really have friends. Cats are, well, loners and I can’t really have human friends. I mean I know several humans and hang out with some but I can’t really call them friends. Actually, I’ve never stuck around others so long until now, even though it’s only been a few days. And if friendship is so hard, just imagine having a serious, romantic relationship.”

I rest my head on the edge of the bed, staring at the ceiling. “I’m not trying to defend those Cats. What they did was cruel, way too cruel even for a Cat, but I understand why they did it. They said it’s because they want to make sure all the races survive, which I know is a lie because let’s face it – Cats are selfish. The project was meant to benefits Cats only and the Cats probably just said it was for everyone to try to make the cause sound more noble and maybe get more support. After all, we Cats have the smallest female population. Don’t ask me why. No one knows why fewer and fewer females are being born. Some say it’s the course of nature, that we’re meant to go extinct, that our time is over. Maybe they’re right. Maybe we’ve been on this earth far too long, outlived our purpose, whatever that is.”

I glance at Clarissa, waiting, hoping for a reaction but there isn’t any. I don’t even know if she’s listening but I continue anyway.

“Anyway, like I said, that’s just a big lie, or at least, not the entire truth. We want the race to survive, of course, but more than that, maybe we just want more of us, more beings we can be with. Is that wrong? Yeah, we act cool and all, act like we don’t care but something tells me we’re the loneliest of all.”

Maybe it’s because she doesn’t seem to be listening but the words are coming out more easily than they ever have.

“You know, some of us get so lonely that they forsake their animal sides and decide to pretend to be human altogether just so they can be with humans,” I continue. “They have relationships with humans even though they know it’s impossible to have offspring, even though they end up being treated like outcasts and feeling like outcasts, never really truly belonging anywhere. Then again, without a mate, you don’t feel like you belong anywhere, either. But that’s not the hardest part. The hardest is that often, these Cats who take human mates have to watch their mates become pregnant and have children and pretend to be happy, pretend that the children are theirs, when in fact, they’re not. The females who really want children undergo artificial insemination, thinking that it will solve the fertility issues and the male Cats agree, of course, but then, during the process, they make sure a human sample is used. Otherwise, the process has no chance of success. The females end up happy but the Cats end up feeling even more alienated.”

This time, Clarissa moves, wrapping her arms tighter around her knees. I can’t really call it a reaction but it gives me hope she’s listening, or starting to.