First Love, Last Love

‘Why, yes.’ She frowned her puzzlement.

‘But Jane isn’t your aunt, she—she’s your mother!’

CHAPTER TEN

LAURI felt strong arms go about her as she swayed, guiding her over to a chair as she turned to stare at the man in the bed propped up by numerous pillows.

‘Hell, Laurence,’ Alex turned on him angrily, ‘you can’t go throwing accusations like that about! Look at her, you’ve shocked the life out of her!’

‘But I—Jane is the woman I love, the woman I’ve always loved,’ Laurence told them dazedly. ‘She’s the mother of my child.’

‘My mother?’ Lauri was just as dazed.

‘Yes,’ he nodded.

‘Thank God for that!’ she sighed raggedly, feeling only relief at his disclosure. It might be even more of a shock than finding out he was her father, but at least it meant the woman she had always believed to be her mother had never been unfaithful to her husband. And in truth Jane had always been more of a mother to her than anyone else had.

‘You’re all right?’ Alex asked her gently.

‘Yes,’ she nodded.

He turned to his brother-in-law. ‘Perhaps you wouldn’t mind explaining,’ he said tersely.

‘I—Just tell me one thing, Lauri,’ Laurence pleaded. ‘Jane, my Jane, is still alive?’

She gave a shaky smile. ‘She’s brought me up since I was a child.’

‘My God!’ he groaned, collapsing weakly back on to the pillows. ‘I can hardly believe it!’

‘I’m not sure I can either,’ Lauri choked.

‘Explain, Laurence,’ Alex commanded, sitting beside Lauri to take her hand in his, his thumb rhythmically caressing the delicate veins at her wrist.

She felt grateful for his hold on her, feeling somehow as if all sanity had deserted her. It now appeared that far from being the orphan she had believed herself to be the last ten years, both her mother and father were still alive. Why had Jane, her mother, never told her the truth? Was she ashamed of her, wanting to shield their true relationship? It somehow didn’t fit in with the Jane she knew.

‘Jane was only seventeen when I

met her,’ Laurence began talking, ‘while I was already thirty-five.’ His look was distant, as if he were reliving it all. ‘I loved her on sight. We met quite accidentally, in the park. She was beautiful, had a startling honesty that almost frightened me, a zest for life that I craved. I began to take her out, quite innocent little outings at first, because I knew she only saw me as a friend. I suppose she considered me too old for any romantic involvement,’ he added ruefully. ‘But gradually I felt her feelings for me begin to change, knew that she was coming to care for me in the same way I cared for her.’

‘And I’m sure you omitted to tell her you were already married,’ Alex put in dryly.

Laurence flushed. ‘How did you know that?’

‘After having her as my secretary for three years I believe I know a little about Jane. She would never have had anything to do with you if she’d known about Beth.’

‘You’re right, of course,’ Laurence said dully. ‘But I loved her too much to lose her. So I kept quiet about Beth, which in the end was my downfall. Jane found out and refused to see me again. When I went round to her parents’ house they told me she’d gone away to stay with relatives, but they refused to tell me where. I—I thought I would die without her.’

‘You had no idea she’d gone away because she was expecting your child?’ Alex prompted.

‘None at all. It only happened the once, you see,’ an embarrassed hue coloured his cheeks. ‘It never occurred to me … Beth was in hospital for a week having tests, tests to see if there was anything to be done for her.’ He put up a hand to his temples. ‘I’m sorry about this, Alex, I know she was your sister, but … There’d been so many tests, so many disappointments, and each time Beth’s hatred of me got worse. I think Jane must have sensed some of my despair because when I—when we—She gave herself to me with no reservations.’

‘That would be Jane,’ Alex said coldly. ‘You took advantage of the fact that she loved you, that she knew nothing of your loveless sterile marriage, and you ruined her life for her.’

‘Yes,’ Laurence choked, ‘it seems I did all of that. But until I saw Lauri just over a week ago I had no idea of just how much damage I’d done her. And then Lauri told me her mother was dead! God, I wanted to die too. When Beth died and I decided to come back to England I had some crazy idea of finding Jane again, although how I intended doing that I have no idea. And then Alex turned up at the airport with you! I knew straight away who you were, and I thought Alex had done it deliberately to hurt me.’

‘And instead I was as shocked as you were,’ Alex told him harshly. ‘More so, probably,’ he added bitterly.

‘Not really, Alex’ Lauri spoke for the first time, challenge in her voice. ‘Through me you thought you would get your revenge on Laurence that you’ve always wanted. You decided to make love to me, get me to admit to loving you in the heat of your experienced caresses, and then taunt him with the knowledge that you had his daughter exactly where you wanted her, in your arms and in your bed.’