Of Darkness and Crowns (Goddess Wars 2)

Regrets…they have no place here. I could lose myself in the sheer number weighing on my soul. The only thing that counts now is Caben. The vow I pledged. I already broke one promise by losing his kingdom to Julian. I can’t break another—the most important of all. From this point on, until the moment of Bale’s ascent, I’m fighting for Caben.

With that thought, a sudden, intense pain spikes my chest. My hand grips Caben’s hard as I collapse to the forest floor.

In a blur of movements, he’s on his knees beside me, holding my head off the ground. “Kal? What’s wrong?”

“Something’s not…right,” I manage around short, clipped breaths. The pain intensifies, as if my breastplate is being pierced straight through to my heart.

I close my eyes against Caben’s frantic gaze as he traces every part of me at once. Then as he places a hand in the middle of chest, I say, “No. Wait.”

Anxious, he keeps his palm hovering over me, his mouth pressed in a tight line. I’m surprised he listened, but I don’t want him to send any of his power into me—the way he did at the palace. Though I saw he’s capable of healing, I’m afraid of what could happen; having more of Bale’s power inside me.

And, the pain is starting to lessen. Transforming into a warmth that radiates from beneath my chest and travels my body. As it reaches my limbs, a clear image of Empress Iana appears in my mind. Then I know with certainty it’s my connection to her.

The goddess bond.

Only this feeling is not a warning, nor a glimpse of her current state—it’s the pain that comes from the bond being severed.

I feel tears well in my eyes, and I blink them back. “Help me stand,” I say to Caben. His forehead creases, his mouth parting to say something, but then he nods once and takes my hand in his, his other dipping under the small of my back to help me up.

He doesn’t ask as we slowly start back on our course. For that, I’m thankful. I’m not sure how I could explain the ache pulsing through me at losing the link with my empress. Though it had already begun to weaken, and my faith in her to wane, it was a part of me.

I can’t help but wonder—did I sever it or did she?

Am I being released because of my disobedience, a punishment? Or is she allowing me to seek my own way, free of her?

Regardless of which, I can no longer feel her. I’m truly on my own.

After hours of treading and climbing the jagged outer edge of Perinya, the forest starts to thin. The trees become scattered farther apart, and sand replaces the pine straw. The roar of crashing waves echoes off the giant limestone rocks lining the beach as the sun just blinks on the horizon.

The ocean.

The closest I’ve ever been to it was in Laryn. I remember the floral lightness and the humid blanket that covered my skin. But even there, I was still miles away from the coast. I’ve never been farther than Cavan’s capital or Laryn’s Court in either direction of the Three Realms. I’ve seen images of the beach, though that’s little preparation for what I see once we cross out of the Great Woods.

Something so massive, so never-ending, should terrify me. Powerful waves hammer down on the tightly-packed white sand like the huge being is furious at its existence. As if it’s trying to sever the link between them—but they’re more connected by the violence for it.

My breath ceases in my lungs. At the beauty and chaos of it, but also because the wind is stealing it away. It sends my long strands lashing at my face. And the glimmer of the rising sun peaking from the seam where water meets sky is heart-stopping.

Something inside me recognizes the link. That Caben should be the one here with me now seeing this for the first time. Us, together, bound by love and violence. We’re the spark at the center. Two halves fighting for dominance. Both light and darkness.

“It’s my favorite place,” Caben says, almost too low in the deafening wind.

My heart constricts. He wants his mother to remember him for who he was, yet I’m always to reflect on this moment. Where, had Caben never been possessed, he’d have shown me his place very differently. He’s choosing to spend his last moments alive here. With me.

An overwhelming desire to look into his blue eyes and see him—just Caben—overtakes me. And I’m turning against the wind, searching. He’s standing just feet fr

om the ocean spray, his dark-clad clothing blending into the dark skyline. A silver flask held in one hand near his thigh, his other hand clutching the round pommel of his sword.

I approach him hesitantly, admiring his dark layers of hair whipping around his face. He doesn’t turn to acknowledge me when I’m right beside him, only continues to stare out over the misty water. I don’t want to ruin whatever serenity we’re able to find here. But I need to look into his eyes.

Lifting my hand, I slowly run my fingers through the loose locks just above his nape. He flinches at my touch. He tries to hide it, physically tensing, and squeezes his eyes closed. I step into him, where I can feel the heat of his body. Curling my fingers into his hair, I whisper, “Look at me.”

If what Bax says is true, then this moment can be ours. I hate that he’s anything but rational in his inebriated state—but it’s the closest I’ve been to the real Caben since he told me he loved me in the Cage.

It might be the final time I’m able to tell him that I love him, too, before Bale…

His eyes open. And my heart sinks.

Though they’re the blue I remember and have longed to see again, they’re ringed with silver. Not the gray that lightened them into the brightest blue I’d ever seen, but an ethereal lining that sends shivers down my spine.