Miss Merton's Last Hope (Miss Mayhem 4)
To explain would remind Walter of the reason for their quarrel, and while she did not want to fight with him, she also could not ignore his request. “He feels I set a bad example by not having married yet, and I suppose he is right.”
Walter rubbed his jaw in that way he usually did when he was thinking. “You have turned down your fair share of suitors, so it’s bound to draw criticism.”
She stiffened.
He nodded politely to an acquaintance they passed. “Not that I don’t now have some idea why you refused them.”
“You don’t understand.” He certainly hadn’t the other day, and she didn’t expect that to change. No one understood. Even Valentine looked at her as if she were a stranger.
“I believe I do in a way.” He frowned. “Your former suitors failed to make you care for them. You never considered any other response.”
His words chilled her. “Are you trying to say that I’m incapable of deeper feelings?”
Walter shook his head. “If you had liked them, or thought you could learn to love even one of those fellows, given a longer acquaintance, your answers might have been different. I suppose from your point of view, you did them a kindness.”
She faced forward, feeling her face heating all over again. He did understand. “There is no point in marrying only to be miserable. I have witnessed that firsthand through my parents’ marriage.”
“Not all marriages are bad ones and you are certainly capable of deeper feelings,” he continued. “You’ve grown to love Julia as a sister—and we both know you enjoyed being kissed so, clearly, you are not unaffected if approached the right way.”
“That was…” She swallowed. “You caught me by surprise but I should not have allowed it. I am truly sorry.”
His eyelids lowered, and a tiny smile appeared on his lips. “I gave you plenty of time to get away.”
She couldn’t protest it wasn’t true. She’d had ample time and opportunity to avoid the second kiss he’d pressed to her lips. She couldn’t explain why she hadn’t moved but the idea of turning him away hadn’t once crossed her mind. It wasn’t until after the kiss that she’d realized what she’d done. She’d led him on unintentionally.
He leaned close. “As much as I’d like to discuss kissing, I have something else on my mind today that I want to talk to you about.”
Melanie clenched her hands together, overcome by fear of what else he might have to say of her past behavior.
She waited for him to continue but he kept glancing toward the sea. “Walter?”
His brows lifted and then he glanced down. “This is a public area, and I’m not one to harm a lady’s reputation. There is something I need to explain to you that is difficult to say but I feel I must.”
“All right. If you think it’s important, I shall hear you.”
“I want you to understand that while I might not accept your decision not to marry, I don’t deny you the right not to. I apologize if I was short with you last week. I’d like to hope we could remain on good terms irrespective of what I say next.”
A rush of yearning filled her. The past week had been painful, thinking that she’d angered him, disappointed him. She’d had sufficient time to consider how she might mend their friendship, but until today she’d begun to feel it a lost cause. “I’d like that.”
He took a deep breath. “A woman need not suffer a pregnancy if she does not want a babe. There are ways to avoid such a situation.”
That hadn’t been what she’d expected to hear next from him. “I don’t understand.”
“I can see that you don’t.” He stared ahea
d, his cheeks darkening to a deep pink, as if he were blushing. “A husband can withdraw from his wife before he finds completion during intimacy. You could marry if you wanted to and still not have children.”
Melanie swallowed hard. She’d never known such things were possible in a marriage. She’d never been told very much about a wedding night except to expect pain and repetition until a child was made. “No husband would agree to such an arrangement that denied him an heir.”
“He might accept if given a choice in the decision from the beginning.”
“No man would want society to think he’d chosen so poorly. A supposedly barren wife would be an embarrassment to him.”
“Then he would be a buffoon,” Walter insisted. He met her gaze. “There is no need to deny yourself the pleasure of intimacy. There are more ways and means for a husband to be with his wife without causing a babe to be made.”
Melanie gasped. “There are?”
He stared at her and his face turned very red. “Oh, yes.”