Living Together
But he wouldn’t want her now, not after what Michael had done to her. She wouldn’t see or hear from Leon again after tonight, she knew it. And she didn’t want to—did she?
‘Here,’ Leon held her jacket out to her.
‘Thank you,’ she accepted, hastily putting her arms in the sleeves.
‘Will Jenny be there when you get home?’ he asked once they were in the car and on their way to her home.
‘She—she may be. I don’t think she was going out.’
‘If she isn’t there would you like me to stay with you?’
‘Oh no! No, that won’t be necessary.’
His mouth turned back. ‘I meant, would you like me to sit with you. You’re too upset to be alone right now.’
‘Oh—I see. You—you’re very kind.’
‘I wasn’t offering out of kindness, Helen,’ he snapped. ‘I just didn’t want you to be alone brooding.’
She gave a wan smile. ‘I’m not suicidal, if that’s what you think.’
‘I should damn well hope not!’ His anger couldn’t be contained. ‘If I thought you were that much of a coward I wouldn’t leave you alone for a minute.’
‘A coward?’ she choked.
‘Yes, a coward. You have to either be very brave or a coward to take your own life, and I don’t think you’re either of those things.’
‘I’m certainly not brave,’ she agreed. ‘When—when all that happened to me, I just wanted to crawl away and hide. And I did to a certain extent, I hid behind Jenny.’
‘But you aren’t going to hide any more,’ he told her firmly.
‘I can’t seem to hide from you,’ Helen admitted slowly.
‘I’m glad,’ he said softly.
‘Are you?’ Her voice was husky.
‘Yes,’ he said harshly. ‘I want to see you again, Helen.’
‘You do?’ She couldn’t hide her surprise.
‘I do. But I have to go away tomorrow for a couple of weeks.’
‘Oh. I see.’ She had known how it would be—his awkward excuses, the brush-off she wasn’t supposed to realise was one.
‘No, you don’t see at all! I do want to see you again, Helen. This trip to the States is something I can’t get out of. We have to do some filming over there, and I can hardly refuse to go,’ he added dryly.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ she looked down at her hands, ‘I understand.’
‘Don’t take that attitude with me!’ Leon snapped angrily. ‘You don’t understand a damn thing. If it was just me involved then I wouldn’t go, but I—’
‘I understand!’ she repeated curtly. ‘I don’t need these excuses, Leon. I’ve revealed a lot to you this evening, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel under an obligation to me, an obligation you want to gently ease out of. I’m not a child. I can—’
‘You can damn well shut up,’ he warned grimly. ‘Shut up or take the consequences. Right now I would like to put you over my knee and spank you—or something you would find infinitely harder to take. I’d like to kiss you until you’re senseless,’ he explained at her questioning look. ‘But I won’t,’ he repented at the sudden paling of her face, and smiled at her unhidden sigh of relief. ‘You do absolutely nothing for a man’s ego, Helen.’
She gave an embarrassed smile. ‘I’m sorry. And you’ve been so kind to me too.’
‘I have not been kind,’ Leon refuted tersely. ‘If anything I’m being selfish. I still want to be the man who’s in your life when you come alive again. If I were kind I would say goodnight to you in a few minutes’ time and never see you again. But I’m not going to do that. I’m going to make you feel again, I’m going to make you, Helen. And it could turn out to be a very painful experience, for me as well as for you. But I can promise you this, I’ll never make love to you until you ask me to.’