The Rulebreaker

“I am so glad I don’t have a penis,” Leyla says.

“And that you don’t like them either,” I add.

“True.” She laughs.

I grab my bag and swing it onto my shoulder as I stand up, saying bye to my teammates as I walk out of the room and head to my car. According to the time, I have about twenty minutes to myself in the house if I get there as soon as possible. My roommates should be at hockey practice, or at least, their first leg of it. Our schedules coincide in that way. We normally have two practices a day between classes, and because two of us are taking the same online class, it means Maverick and I have the exact same schedule. Colson’s is similar, but he helps out at his uncle’s pizza shop on the down-low since we’re technically not allowed to have paying jobs while we’re in school. It’s dumb and part of the reason half of the athletes in our university are currently facing jail time, but that’s a story for another day. When I pull up to the house, I see Maverick’s car parked out front. I lock mine and walk toward the house quickly. I’ve known Mav since we were ten years old and I’ve never known him to miss a practice.

“Mav?” I call out as I open the door and shut it behind me.

“In here,” he says from the kitchen. His voice sounds congested as hell.

“Oh no.” I let my bag fall to the floor by the stairs and finish walking over to the kitchen, where he’s sitting in front of a bowl of soup. “You’re sick?”

“Yeah.” He sniffles. “Fucking sucks.”

“So you didn’t go to practice?”

“Coach wants me to self-quarantine, you know, because of all the bullshit.”

“The bullshit meaning the pandemic?” I back up a step. “Should I be near you?”

“I don’t have the virus.” He shoots me a dirty look. “I have a cold.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I have my vaccines.” His brows pull into a frown. “We all do, so there’s no need to worry.”

He looks so cute when he does that. Not that I’d ever say that to him. My best friend is hot though, what can I say? We made a pact somewhere along the way to never cross that line. A pact that I am absolutely glad we made because knowing us and our short attention spans, we would have one-thousand percent already broken up and made things awkward.

“Well, let me know if you need anything. I’m going to shower and take a nap before class. I’m so tired.”

“You shouldn’t have gone out last night.” He brings the bowl up and begins slurping the soup.

“I hate that sound.” I groan and start walking out of the kitchen.

“You hate every sound. I don’t know how you’re ever going to find a boyfriend and actually stay with him.” Mav sets the bowl down with a chuckle.

“I do not hate every sound and when I find a guy who holds my attention and my love, I will cherish every noise he makes.”

Maverick’s deep chuckle follows me all the way upstairs. I ignore the way it makes my heart bounce inside my chest, as if it’s the most melodic thing I’ve ever heard. I may suffer from acute misophonia, but that’s one sound I’ll never grow tired of. As I push my door open and glance at myself in the mirror, I realize I’m smiling. I shake my head with a sigh. I don’t think I have actual feelings for Maverick. First of all, this thing where I notice how hot he is, is a recent development. I never felt that way before. I don’t know if it happened after we moved in together or maybe I always found him attractive before and just never let myself truly look at him that way. Either way, I don’t like it. Maybe if it were Colson I had a physical crush on it would be fine. I haven’t known him nearly as long as I’ve known Mav, and Colson is hot, with his bad boy persona and tattoos, but when I look at him my heart doesn’t flutter. I push it out of my mind as I shower and dress in comfortable clothes—soft cotton shorts and one of Maverick’s old hockey shirts that fits me like I’m playing dress up with my dad’s clothes. The moment I see my unmade bed, I dive in, shut my eyes, and go to sleep.

I’m not sure at which point Maverick comes into my room, but I don’t even bother to open my eyes when I feel the bed dip as he gets into my bed. He does this sometimes, just sneaks in here and sleeps beside me. It’s something my friends don’t think is normal and caused them to speculate that we were hooking up, but honestly, it’s not wild at all. We’ve been doing this since we were teenagers and went to sports camp together and have never even kissed. Even though my feelings are all out of whack, Mav doesn’t see me in that way at all and it’s better that way.