Dark Need (House of Sin 3)

I sigh and lean in, a little too close for comfort, to undo the knot around her waist until the rope drops to the ground.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t,” I retort, maybe a little too brisk for her liking.

But I don’t want her to go thanking me. I’m not the good guy, and I don’t intend to be.

She throws me another look … one that is too condescending for my taste.

“Behave,” I growl, pointing a finger at her.

“Oh, like you were?” she quips.

She keeps talking back to me like she can afford it, and I don’t like it one bit.

My nostrils flare, and I pick up the rope and tuck it back into my bag. “Follow me.”

I start walking again, but not before I throw the half-eaten apple at her. I’m surprised she manages to catch it, and when she smiles, I do too. Only for a second because I know I shouldn’t.

We’re not there yet, and there will be a crossing not too far from here that’ll put this whole arrangement to the test. But I don’t think we’ll make it across before nightfall.

“So this place we’re going … Are the people nice there?” she asks.

“No,” I reply.

“Hmm … what a surprise.” She rolls her eyes.

“I don’t know,” I say, swatting away a few branches in my way.

“You don’t know? So you’ve never been there before?”

“Enough.” She isn’t going to like the answer anyway.

Finally, she’s quiet, just the way I like it. Hearing the birds whistle in the trees is the only thing that brings me peace. The only thing that quiets the turmoil in my mind.

“I just wanted to … thank you,” she suddenly says after a while. “For saying you’re sorry.”

I pause in my tracks and look over my shoulder.

So she heard that, eh?

She looks up at me with those same doe-like eyes that coil around my heart and make me feel like a fire is raging in my body.

Her cheeks turn a darker shade of red. “Did you mean it?”

My eyes narrow.

Why does she care? She hates me.

“Does it matter?”

“To me, it does,” she says, tucking her hair behind her ear.

I grumble out loud and turn around again. “Yes.”

Facing her while speaking about this is too uncomfortable.

I’ve never had to deal with a situation like this. My normal consists of hurting people, of making them scream, making them bleed and confess. But this? Dealing with … feelings? That’s anything but normal to me, and it confuses the fuck out of me.

And I don’t do confused.

I know what I’m doing.

I know who I am.

I am the one the House can depend on, the one who will honor the rules.

“A while ago, you said it was your first time too,” she suddenly says. “Is that true?”

Heat springs to my face, but I refuse to let my cheeks get flushed.

Fuck.

What is she doing to me?

Did she really have to bring that up?

“Yes,” I retort, trying not to make a big deal out of it even though it is.

Because I wasn’t supposed to claim her. I wasn’t supposed to take the forbidden.

But I did it anyway, and it will cost me.

“It’s just that it surprised me, that’s all.”

“Why?” I retort, maybe a little too aggressive because she immediately returns to her shell, guarding her heart from me.

“Because … most men want … you know.” She clutches her own shirt, clenching the fabric together where her tits meet as though she’s afraid that allowing me a peek will make me succumb again.

She isn’t wrong, though.

“Women,” I fill in for her.

She raises her brows. “So you’ve never wanted a woman before?”

I sigh. “It was not allowed.”

“Not allowed?” She frowns. “They forbade you from … sex?”

She tries to swallow the last word in vain.

“I must stay strong,” I reply. “Men like me thrive on violence.”

She licks her lips. “That sounds like torture to me.”

Torture?

I never thought of it that way.

“The others are allowed, aren’t they? Eli and Tobias, they—”

“They do their job.”

“But they get to enjoy theirs,” she quips.

“I enjoy mine.” My fist balls.

“But you’re always in pain.”

“Only since I met you.”

A pang of guilt shoots through my body the second her eyes tear up.

Fuck.

I should not have said that.

My face contorts, so I look away and continue walking.

It’s not often that I’m forced to think about why things are the way they are. This is just what I am used to. Who I was made to be. I’m a tool. A weapon to be used by someone with more power than me. Nothing more, nothing less.

But now that my restraints are off, I’m no longer able to focus. Violence isn’t my only drive anymore. Something inside me has been unleashed, and I can’t fucking stop it from ravaging everything around me.

I pull the metal from my bag and look at it. The lock is completely broken. There’s no way it can ever be put back on me like this.